


Mostly Ghostly

by leedsmagic



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Baby Louis, Ghost Harry, M/M, Plot Twist, mostly fluff and tears, no smut bc im lazy, underage? kind of...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 22:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2287598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leedsmagic/pseuds/leedsmagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Halloween night is when the jade-eyed stranger in the same bloodied white shirt costume makes his appearance to Louis. And he only shows up on that night every year to fulfill one evil purpose.</p><p> </p><p>. x .</p><p>Since his birth or maybe even before his birth, Louis and this mysterious visitor have been in contact. Louis doesn't know him or whether anyone else does but that doesn't stop him from being curious and gradually grow close with him. Year after year, only on that special dark night does the unknown come and stays with Louis, building and planning. Soon, promises are made, secrets are kept, truths finally told, and Love's foul play is discovered. So. The question surfaces: And then what?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1991

_"Hello, Louis."_

A fading pair of jade eyes looked menacingly down at the newborn squirming in its crib.

The baby, almost a year old, beamed at the stranger with much fond already.

The stranger hovered a pale finger above the baby boy's nose, hesitant to touch him.

_"I have waited for this for so long."_

The rippling image of the older boy cackled lowly, hushing so that the child's mother would not hear him.

_"Finally, I have found something that will rest my hunger for revenge."_

He smiled darkly at the ajar door across the room where the widowed mother slept.

With a flick of his hand in the air, the bedroom door closed with a loud slam and the devilish grin on his lips grew wider when the sounds of the woman waking echoed in the quiet house.

He turned to the child who was dazing into space with his leg up.

_"That something is you, child."_

The deep rumble of chuckling stayed in the nursery and the mother rushed in, hearing the noise.

She checked her son first, holding him tightly in her arms.

Then, she looked around, searching for the source of the disruption in the dead of night.

She relaxed when there was no one else in the room.

The mother kissed her baby's forehead as he stared with wide blue eyes.

"Don't worry, Louis. You're safe with me."

The soft hums began for the third time to help ease the child into sleep but the mother's lullaby was muffled to the child by the same dark chuckles earlier.

His eyes seemed to be staring at his birthmother but really, he was watching the stranger hovering behind her.

The stranger waved his hand and made it so that only the baby could hear him.

_"See you next year, Lou."_

The chuckling faded at once with the stranger's dissapearance, revealing the luring hum of the mother.

The baby slowly drifted off into a peaceful slumber, not knowing of what's to come every year on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic so I apologize for the illiteracy and inaccuracy of it.


	2. 1992

Though Jay had left the heater on for her two year old son to be warm during the cold fall night, the nursery was ice cold.

It wasn't the night air that was the cause but a spirit.

A cold, evil spirit. This was the second year where the ghost visited the brightly painted room.

The crib was still the same and nothing seemed to be different from last year, except the growth and development of the baby boy occupying the room.

Yes, the young child was bigger and more experienced to life around him.

But he wasn't ready to take part in the ghost's purpose.

A little longer the restless evil had to wait but luckily, he had all eternity.

_"Hello, Louis. Did you miss me?"_

The baby, once again, was awake and alert.

The innocent smile was there as well, shining brightly at the stranger who wasn't quite a stranger.

The man placed a hand on the crib, still not finding enough will in him to touch the child.

_"It's too soon. But the time will come eventually."_

Louis tilted his head and squealed in joy when the man clucked his tongue softly.

_"Wish I didn't only have a day to taunt and torment your mother slowly."_

The child giggled, clueless to everything the man was saying.

This pleased and amused the man even more.

The more clueless and oblivious the boy was, the easier and more effective everything would be.

Revenge was closer and it only took ten years of waiting.

_"Goodbye baby."_

Out of all the things, the boy understood those words.

Louis started crying and making sounds, waking his mother from the next room.

By the time Jay appeared, the stranger vanished, creating the same scenario as last year.

But the mother was just as clueless as her two year old son.

_I'll check up on you next fall._

_See you soon._

The cold, raspy voice whispered in the baby's mind.

 


	3. 1993

The baby, Louis, still was too young to understand most things.

But he wasn't too young to not remember faces, like his special visitor on Halloween.

He always wondered where the man had gone on the days after the thirty-first of October.

He would sometimes stay up, waiting if he would come again.

Of course the man didn't, until tonight.

_"Hello."_

The stranger loomed over the child who yet again, was wide awake.

The baby, remembering the stranger, squealed and bursted in babbling glee.

This shocked the man for he had forgot the development periods of a baby.

_"My, look how much you've grown..."_

The stranger observed Louis from his head to his toes.

He frowned, scowling shortly after.

The baby was barely halfway there of age.

Still, this was better than any other plans for revenge.

Waiting was the cost, so shall be it.

_"Louis? Can you understand me?"_

The baby sat up clumsily and smiled so fondly at the stranger.

_"Is that a yes?"_

Louis giggled and tried reaching out for the man with the curls.

The man shook his head and waved the child away instead of touching him.

_"No, no. Lou, not yet. Now isn't the time."_

Apparently the boy understood for he stopped smiling and laid back down in his crib.

It was magical to the man of how the child could do that.

He understood and obeyed, something that most other babies his age wouldn't do.

" _You have so much potential..."_

The man trailed off in thought.

He smiled and chuckled roughly at the heavens to his luck.

_"So perfect. Your mother will be devastated."_

The stranger turned to face the opened door that leads to the hallway and the main bedroom.

The smile turned wicked and bigger as he raised his foot.

_"Until then, I'll slowly torture her."_

He lightly tapped the hardwood floor but the sound from it seemed to be from an explosion.

When the mother came rushing in moments later, the stranger didn't vanish at once.

In hopes of terrifying her, he let his image linger on for a moment more so that she could see him standing by her baby.

His plan was successful.

Jay screamed loudly at the sight and the baby cried.

The rest of the night became too scary for Jay to sleep or leave Louis unattended.

She wondered how the boy was alive or how he appeared when everything was locked and the home security was on.

Most of all, how did he escape?

Then, after another round of searching everywhere in the house and finding no one, Jay decided that it was just the trick of her mind.

She blamed the nonsense on the lack of sleep but still had Louis beside her, just in case.

Jay quickly fell asleep due to her tired body and mind, leaving baby Louis awake and mobile.

Louis could hear the soft, lulling voice of the curly haired man in his head.

Being able to crawl and partly walk, Louis managed to get on the ground by the door.

He smiled at the figure in front of him.

_Shh...be a good boy._

_Don't want to wake your mother up, do we?_

The man's voice cooed in the child's head as he pointed at the sleeping body on the bed above.

The baby didn't make a sound but kept smiling at the stranger.

_I have to go now._

Louis' smile faded and his eyes shone sadness.

He was old enough to understand those words.

_Bye-bye Louis._

The stranger vanished from the front of the bedroom door to the nursery across from it.

The baby smiled again at the man's magical teleportation.

The man waved before disappearing like always.

_Next year, Lou._

Then the baby's eyes grew heavy and eventually closed.


	4. 1994

The clock struck eleven by the time Jay kissed her son goodnight and went to bed.

Louis was an energetic, talkative four year old toddler now.

He can tell what was right or wrong and understand almost everything.

More clearly, he understood that the magic man only visited on the night where people dressed in silly costumes and ran around asking for candy.

He also knew that the man wanted him to keep quiet about his annual appearance.

_"Louis?"_

Even before Louis saw the man, he sat up and looked directly where he appeared seconds after.

It was like he could feel him.

_"Hello, dar."_

There was that cute smile again.

_"How old are you?"_

The man was aware of how intelligent Louis had become.

He was still around though, watching him every single day.

The thing was that he isn't able to be tangible except on Halloween.

He stayed invisible during the day but visible at night so he blended in with the other kids in fake bloodied costumes.

The difference was that his clothes were stained with real blood and wasn't a costume...

"Four."

Louis even knew how to whisper.

Bless him.

He lifted three fingers as well, making the stranger laugh once.

He stopped laughing and grew serious.

He shouldn't be so nice and relaxed around the kid, especially since it's hers.

He frowned and stiffened, making Louis' cheery expression melt away.

_"Goodbye. We'll meet again."_

The man said abruptly and in a blink of an eye, he vanished on the spot.

Louis, startled by the quick disappearance, stood up and searched for the man.

He wondered what he did that made him leave so soon.

Louis felt the big, fat tears start to well up in his eyes after several failed minutes of calling out for the man in baby babbles until:

_Oh, Lou..._

There was the familiar deep voice again.

Immediately, the tears stopped and went away, leaving a curious shine.

_I'm still here, baby._

_I'm always here._

The man reappeared in front of the baby who desperately wanted him to come back.

He smiled and nodded at the boy.

_Go to sleep, Louis._

_I'll see you soon._

That was all that Louis needed to be happy again and to fall asleep.


	5. 1995

Jay found it strange how her son didn't want to go trick-or-treating with his friends even though she allowed him to this year.

What was even more strange was that he wanted to go to bed early.

What adventure-filled five year old wants to miss out on halloween and go to bed at eight?

Apparently Louis did and that worried Jay greatly.

"Loubear, you sure you don't want to dress up as spiderman and go get candy with Samuel?"

She had asked for the seventh time that hour.

Louis shook his head and pushed his green toy car five feet ahead of him, causing him to collapse on his face.

He didn't cry for he believed he was a  _big boy now_ which was endearingly adorable.

"Mummy, 'm tired."

Louis whined and raised his arms, the toy car in his left hand.

Jay sighed and decided not to force him to go.

That would be the worst thing to do.

"Alright but brush your teeth before you go to bed. Just like how mummy taught you."

Louis nodded and was lifted up into his mother's strong arms.

After spending nearly an hour washing up and cleaning up the spilled water (Louis liked water a lot)(especially splashing it everywhere), he was finally ready to sleep.

Since Louis insisted he was too grown up to sleep in a crib, Jay bought him a queen-sized bed because he had nagged her so much that he's a  _big boy now_.

And big boys don't sleep in cool... red... light up... car beds.

"There's still some time to play out for trick-or-treating..."

Jay egged on while holding Louis' hand.

He shifted under the covers, letting go of her hand.

" _Mummy_..."

She nodded and leaned forward to kiss his forehead goodnight.

"Goodnight, Louis. I love you."

Louis smiled at her from the bed as she stood by his door to close it.

"I love you too."

Once the door was shut, Louis didn't have a second to inhale another breath when the man appeared.

_Do you love me too?_

Louis sat up and watched the pair of green eyes smile at him.

"I... yes?"

_You don't sound so sure..._

The man put on a sad frown and was walking farther away from the boy in the red pjs.

"I do!"

The man in the white shirt turned around and crossed his arms.

_Do what?_

The man was teasing but Louis didn't mind it from him.

He liked the guy.

"I love you."

For some reason, those words had the man's stomach squirm wildly and heart ache it physically hurt.

It became quiet for some time with both of them staring at each other until Louis couldn't bear it any longer.

His mum told him it was rude to ask too many personal questions but this man has been visiting Louis ever since he could remember.

Asking him a few questions was okay, right?

"Do you know mummy?"

Louis waited for an answer but it never came.

"Can you talk in ou-outside? Not my head?"

_"Yes."_

Louis smiled and pulled the covers down to his waist.

He peered up at the man through the dark.

"What's your name?"

The man held back for a moment, thinking about this.

Louis could mention him to his mother and the time wasn't right to have her know he's around.

But looking back at him as he sat on the bed, waiting patiently for a name, it was hard not to give the kid what he wanted.

_"Harry."_

Louis nodded slowly, mumbling the man's name.

"Aa' rie... H-Harreh."

_H-ar-ry, Lou._

Louis shrugged lightly, confused with all these accented sounds in the name.

He cleared his throat, "Heh-ri?"

Harry laughed, shaking his head at the silly pronunciation. 

_No, H-a-r-r-y; Harry._

The man, Harry, spent the next five minutes teaching Louis how to spell and say his name correctly.

Louis almost got it, passing with the nickname as  _Haz_ for he got tired and blurted out a string of letters.

"Harreh?"

Harry nodded,  _"Yes, Lou?"_

"How come mummy doesn't see you?"

_"Because I don't want her to see me."_

Harry was nervous that he would ask more questions about the topic but Louis didn't say anything more.

Louis yawned and it became obvious he forced himself to stay longer than what he should have done.

Harry glanced at the clock on the table besides the bed.

It was almost twelve am.

Time was running out.

_I have to go now. Be a good boy and I'll visit again._

He spoke inside the boy's mind.

If Louis wasn't so knackered and half sleeping already, he would've protested or begged Harry to stay.

He just nodded and laid back down, closing his eyes when it was too hard to keep them open.

_Goodnight Lou. Do well in school next year._

Before sleep took Louis in, he managed to say his goodbye and see Harry's disappearing act. 

"Bye-bye, Haz."


	6. 1996

"Are you sure you'll be okay alone?"

Louis nodded courageously with fresh tears in his eyes and cheeks.

Earlier today, Louis was at the school's playground, playing a game of tag when he tripped over a backpack and fell.

He scraped his right knee and both hands bad enough that he couldn't move without wincing.

Jay sighed, wishing her dinner plans with her sister could cancel right now.

"I'll come home soon. Don't open the door for anybody, understand?"

"I know. Tell Auntie Sarah I miss her."

Louis smiled reassuringly at his over-worrying mother and waved goodbye.

Hay smiled sadly and closed the door, minutes later pulling the car out of the driveway.

An hour passed by and the peaceful silence in the house soothed the six year old to slumber.

He had shut his eyes for a few seconds when an icy breeze blew irritatingly on his face.

_"Louis?"_

A deep voice cooed, awakening him.

There was the same-looking tall man who, seen up close, seems to be around one of Louis' cousin's age.

Around nineteen or younger.

Louis had slightly forgotten about his yearly visitor and felt guilty for not remembering.

After all, he only sees him for less than a day out of three hundred and sixty-five days in a year.

It's easy to forget about the brief meetings during the time when sleep partially hazes Louis' consciousness.

"Haz!"

Louis sat up abruptly and yelped when the sharp pain of his knees cried out.

This worried Harry deeply.

He walked over to see if the little boy was alright.

"How you get in? Did-use your magic?"

Then everything came back to Harry: the plan, the purpose of this annual checkups, the reason why he was there in the Tomlinson abode.

He stood up and created some distance between him and Louis.

"Did mummy tell you t' come?"

Harry had to think quick and thoroughly or else things will get even more complicated than it already was.

In the rush of things, he blurted out an excuse he'll punch himself for later.

_"I'm close friends with your mum..."_

Even speaking the words boiled his blood and made him snarl.

Friends? 

Not even close.

More like the complete opposite: enemies.

_"She sent me here to watch you."_

He prayed that the kid would believe him and his shoulders relaxed when Louis nodded.

Louis turned to his right, facing the older boy with much spark in his heart.

He held so much adoration and fascination towards Harry.

Something about the green in his eyes made him feel...  _safe_. 

And he never spoke of him to anyone, not even his mum, because he felt that Harry was his little secret to keep and to hold forever. 

But now that Harry said that he was a friend of his mum, maybe, it was okay to share his big secret with her. 

Louis watched the man take look around his room; the walls covered with scribbled drawing and writing, shelves lined up with toys, and the ceiling decorated with glow-in-the-dark star shapes.

He held in his breath (and the overflowing questions) until he couldn't any longer.

As he gasped for breath, he shouted in a loud voice:

"Are you wizard?"

And for some reason Louis could not comprehend, Harry laughed at the absurd question.

He set the toy car back onto the shelf above the desk and shook his head, still laughing.

"Then how you disappear? And-And talk in my head?"

Louis frowned and crossed his arms.

This theory made sense to his little brain.

 _Harry Potter_  was a wizard and could probably do that and other magically things.

What stopped Harry from being a wizard too?

Plus, he shared the same name with the fictional character.

Didn't that mean something?

_"I just can, Lou."_

Harry smiled and saw his image ripple in a flash.

His humorous expression faded into an anxious one.

But thank god (how ironic)(if there was a God, why was Harry still on Earth?), Louis didn't notice that.

If he only had more time... 

Now he had to wait a whole year to have Louis acknowledge his presence and converse with him.

_"It's getting late, baby. Your mum wanted me to have you sleep before twelve..."_

Louis shifted lower on the bed and pulled his blanket right over his shoulders on cue.

He was sad to part again and another question formed in him.

"Why...Why don't I-I see you? N-Not on Hahlo-ween?"

The sadness hinted in the question hit Harry hard and sharp but he stayed quiet and dismissed answering.

He gestured the boy to relax and forced a smile.

_"I'll tell you next time. But for now, it's time to sleep."_

Louis pouted but stayed quiet and motionless in the dark.

He was still wide awake and watching Harry in front of him, expecting something... magical.

_"You must close your eyes to sleep, Louis."_

Harry teased after a minute of staring at each other like some contest.

Louis blushed and shut his eyes, peeking at Harry from time to time. 

This made Harry unknowingly chuckle with delight and utter bliss.

_"Don't worry, love. I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep."_

With those words, Louis relaxed and fully gave his trust that the green eyed man standing guard will keep his promise.

"Haz?"

_"Yes?"_

The corners of the immobile boy's lips curved upward into a big smile.

"I love you...and I-I'm sh-sure."

Though it was obvious the boy wanted the same reply, Harry pretended he didn't hear the pure mumbling of him. 

Everything went completely silent and Louis' chest rose and fell in a calm beat. 

But Harry could feel his mind stir awake.

"Haz?!"

Louis shouted in panic when things became too silent.

He didn't want Harry to be gone already.

And he was afraid of that possibility that he didn't keep his promise.

So, so afraid.

Harry quickly replied, easing the boy.

_"I'm still here Lou. Remember: I'm always, always here with you."_

And Harry remained where he stood and discreetly strained to keep his wavering image, just long enough until Louis' eyes drooped closed.

_Always and forever here beside you._

Harry sent a last promise to the boy, this time through his mind.

Then, Harry could sense the boy's mind was in peace: 

Sleep had arrived.


	7. 1997

This year Jay somehow successfully persuaded Louis to go hunting door-to-door for candy.

She guessed it was because of their new neighbor, The Maliks, from Bradford.

The couple had a son who's two years younger than Louis.

When the two youngsters first met, they clicked in an instant and by the first hour they became the best of friends.

After a few months of playing and going to places with each other, they were inseparable and everything else was forgotten.

Even the very idea and memories of Harry grew distant and hazy.

"Louis, are you ready? Zayn's here!"

Jay called out by the door and turned around to the dark haired boy dressed in a character from _Star Wars_.

She smiled at him and crouched down to his level.

The boy was only five years old but he, like Louis, was very bright and smart for his age.

"Who are you supposed to be, Zayn?"

Jay asked with soft eyes that made Zayn blush.

Zayn tended to find his best friend's mum to be pretty.

Really, really pretty.

"L-Luke..."

Zayn mumbled and trailed off when louis showed up, running down the stairs in his  _Darth Vader_  costume.

They both were into  _Star Wars_  at the moment.

"Hi, Z!"

Louis smiled at his friend while observing his costume.

Zayn really did listen to him and wore the  _Luke Skywalker_  outfit.

That was one thing their friendship worked for this long:

Zayn obeyed Louis' every command.

It was great to be the older one.

"You boys ready?"

Jay asked, knowning how excited they were since this was both of their first time going trick-or-treating.

She didn't need an answer for it was shown in their giddy faces and elated little jumps.

Jay rounded the two chattering boys out of the house and locked the door for their absence to occupy the house would stretch longer than an hour, though there was no need to lock the door since The Tomlinson residence wasn't completely empty.

But Jay didn't know that, except for her innocent, naive son.

While the three were outside asking and recieving candy, a particular dedicated Halloween-er by the name of Harry stood by the window in Louis' room, watching the boy run around and forget about him slowly as he conversed and smiled with that Zayn boy from next door.

How foolish of Harry to get carried away from the original purpose to why he even brought himself into the blue eyed boy's life.

How pitiful.

The rest of the night was spent by filing and reflecting on his thoughts.

The thoughts of who and what he was now, thanks to that selfish woman which is the mother of the boy; and what he must do to serve the heist of the plan.

All this set out everything for Harry and he devoted himself to his revenge again.

But when the boy returned from his activites beyond the house and to his room where Harry hid, it was hard to be cruel and cold.

The sweat and stings of his eyes in those few painful hours of pushing and destroying the fluttery warm feeling towards Louis all came flooding back once Harry saw him again.

Then everything else that was vile and sinister was yet again delayed and ignored.

Harry just wanted to let him see and be aware of him.

His wish could only come true on Halloween before the clock struck twelve the same night so it was horrible that now Louis wouldn't be alone with him for the rest of the night.

It wasn't fair and again, it was all because of  _her_.

_"Louis?"_

Harry dared to speak out when the boy dressed and was prepared for bed.

Louis turned around, scanning a three-sixty in his room in search for the voice.

"Haz? Where are you?"

The way he spoke so clearly and properly made Harry feel proud.

Louis was only seven but he knew and understood certain things that most adults couldn't fathom.

It was a wonder why Louis hasn't told anyone of him yet.

_"I'm over here."_

Harry said, walking out of the shadows in the corner behind the door.

He watched the smile appear and the corners of the blue eyes crinkle with joy.

It was the same smile that showed for him every year but Harry couldn't ever get tired of it.

"Hi."

Louis climbed on top of his bed and crawled to the end of it to get closer to the un-aging boy standing in the middle of the room.

That was another thing he questioned about: Why did he look the same each year and why did he always wear the same thing?

_"Did you have fun today, Lou?"_

Harry asked, referring to the candy hunt.

"Yes. Zayn and I got so much candy!"

Louis exclaimed and plunged into details of his first real Halloween.

He stopped talking when he noticed how unhappy and hurt Harry seemed.

At once, Louis started to worry.

He didn't want to see Harry upset, never ever.

"Are you okay? Haz?"

Louis began to slide off the edge of the bed to go to him but Harry forced a smile to please the boy.

_"I'm fine, Louis. Thank you."_

Harry thought the boy would believe him and let go of the topic but surprisingly, he didn't.

Before he knew it, Louis was on his feet and his short, thin arms were around Harry's legs.

At first, Harry was frozen and stiff when he felt the physical contact and its warm touch.

Then, he was mute and struck with questions of how the living could touch  _him_.

Lastly, the shockness of the action stung him so hard, he pushed the boy away.

Harry paled and staggered backwards, patting himself everywhere as if to check if he was still there and all this was real.

Louis frowned slightly but he didn't freak out when the older boy started mumbling and moving crazily.

_"How - Why d-did you..."_

"Mummy said that hugging makes the frown go away."

Harry stopped moving and stared at him with so much emotions that he couldn't tell what it was.

"But she was wrong; it didn't make the frown go away."

Harry shook his head, tears faintly glistening in his eyes.

It's been so long and so cold since he felt someone alive and breathing against him.

This was surreal and overwhelming but Harry tried to remain calm.

_"No, she was right."_

It killed him to say that but he couldn't tell himself otherwise, Jay was right about this.

The numbing coldness of him dissapeared with a spark, pumping adrenaline through his veins.

Happiness was what Harry labeled the feeling as.

That was another thing he hadn't felt in a long, long time.

_"Do it again?"_

Harry asked in a hushed tone, not really expecting Louis to.

Louis' eyes lit up and there was that smile beaming up at him again.

It seemed he only smiled like that for Harry.

"Okay!"

Louis ran to Harry once more, wrapping his arms around his legs while pressing his face to his thigh so tightly as if he had waited and prepared for this all his life; and maybe he was.

Maybe all the smiles, giggles, and expectant eyes were only for Harry to have and see.

Harry hesitantly reached for Louis' cheeks and with a surge of courage, he held the boy's face, making him close his eyes.

Harry closed his eyes as well.

He could touch the living, even Louis.

_"Louis Louis Louis..."_

Harry breathed out, opening his eyes to see the boy stare quietly at him.

Louis still had his arms around him and didn't seem to want to let him go anytime soon which Harry didn't mind at all.

Harry slowly rubbed soft circles on the boy's cheek, still amazed at the discovery. 

_"How lovely and brilliant you are."_


	8. 1998

This year seemed to go by awfully slow and it killed Harry to wait for the thirty-first of october.

Since the last time when the two were together playing tag, hide-and-seek, and watched the stars until the child fell asleep, he has been missing that so much.

Though he could see him everyday and whenever he wanted to, the little charmer couldn't see or hear him back.

A blessing and a curse being a ghost is.

A blessing because you could see the people you love again and a curse because you can't do anything until Halloween.

But Harry would deal with it if it means he gets to talk to Louis.

"Oops! I forgot my purse! Give me a sec, Lou."

With the voice came a hurrying clumps of footsteps down the hall.

Harry, turning invisible, watched as the woman rushed past him to her bedroom across from where he stood.

He wanted so much to hint that he was back to have her pay for everything but he couldn't.

He just couldn't anymore because that would probably destroy any opportunites to see Louis ever.

She might move away or do some exorcism and who knows if that actually works.

So all Harry could do was stand in the middle of Louis' room, mixed with resentment and hopeless fustration, as Jay and her son continue on their merry way to celebrate Halloween.

At least, he could have Louis all to himself for the last few remaining hours.

After a  _long_  wait of two hours in the dark empty house, the mother and son came back with their hands full of candy.

Louis was dressed as a scarecrow this year and his friend, Zayn, was too sick to go out hunting.

He was sad that over this but then wasn't as he remembered his other special friend that waits for him.

"Yes mum! I brushed and washed up. goodnight."

Louis assured his worrying mother before kissing her goodnight by her door.

Jay nodded and watched her son smile at her while disappearing into his room.

When she felt that everything was in place and right, she climbed into bed and fell asleep, oblivious once more that mysterious night.

Amidst in her supposed happiness, she even had the decency to smile in her sleep which the bitter soul wrapped in darkness saw and muttered curses at that.

 _When she finds out,_  he thought, _she won't know what hit her..._

"Haz?"

The innocent voice of the little boy called out into the shadows when he thought to be the safest moment.

Right away all evil thoughts vanished from the ghost and left the only wish to see the boy.

Without so much of a glare to the sleeping woman, he walked out of her room and into the one across from it.

There laid the boy under the covers, wide-eyed and restless to see him.

The boy smiled, his shoulder relaxing.

He breathed out, "hi."

In that moment, there was nothing Harry could ever ask more of.

Harry soon found it impossible to keep his fond emotions in check as he took in Louis' being again with those big blue eyes shining at him.

It was impossible to stay bitter and angry in the boy's presence.

_"Hello, Louis."_

Against all, the boy's smile and blush deepened.

It wasn't likely that Harry could feel since he was dead but he was sure something sparked inside him right then.

Something alive...

_"Do you want to play tag again? Like last year?"_

Louis shook his head, "no."

Harry frowned, noticing the displeasure in the boy's tone and posture.

He was upset or worried about something.

_"What's wrong, Lou?"_

Harry closed the cautioned space between them and sat on the bed.

Every second of the silence pained and made him more desperate.

Whatever or whoever made Louis displeased would rue the day, Harry thought rashly as he searched the boy's eyes to get an answer.

Finally Louis spoke which Harry was grateful for but his answer wasn't as relieving.

"Why can't I see you on other days? Why can't mum?"

Harry stiffened and slowly pulled back away.

He stared at the bed sheets for some time before forcing a smile and acted as if the question and all concern in the past five minutes hadn't happened.

_"It's getting late..."_

Louis started to fidget at Harry's sly way of not answering his question.

"Why won't you tell me?"

Louis pouted, feeling as if Harry was betraying him in a way. 

From his time in the world (and the wise words of his mum), he learned that friends tell everything without lying to each other.

But why?

Why wasn't Harry telling him what he asked for?

Wasn't he his friend?

Harry sighed, seeing the hurt look on the boy's face.

_"I'll tell you everything later... When you're ready."_

Still, his words weren't enough to assure louis to drop the subject.

Harry smiled for a moment, realizing how to solve this.

_"I promise Lou, and I will keep it."_

And there, that settled the boy to smile again and lie down.

Harry, still sitting on the bed, smiled down at Louis while rubbing his cheeks, knowing just how much louis enjoys it. 

After a minutes of comfortable quiet, Harry knew he didn't have much time left to stay.

Though his heart was growing heavy at the thought to leave, he managed to bring himself to say goodbye through a gentle kiss on Louis' forehead.

_"Goodnight. Promise me that the next time we meet, there will be a smile and laughter out of you."_

To secure his promise, Louis smiled, causing Harry to swell with laughter.

 _"Next year,"_  Harry promised again.

Louis' smile lost it's shine a bit as the curly haired boy stood up.

He panicked as Harry crept deeper into the shadows of his room.

"Harry! Haz!"

At Louis' plea, Harry stopped walking.

Louis cowered away from his gaze, embarrassed for some reason.

It was barely audible but Harry heard the dear boy's words: "I love you."

In the three seconds afterwards, Harry made a decision on how to reply.

At how far and deep he and Louis have bonded, Harry felt that it was okay to say the same.

Is was okay, right?

Harry smiled,  _"I love you too, Louis."_

And the words felt just right to use.


	9. 1999

Halloween of '99 was when Harry, after long thorough thinking and weighing his odds, decided to go trick-or-treating outside with Louis.

Outside as in other alert eyes of the public.

Though it was very risky and highly capable to get caught by Jay or someone who knew The Tomlinsons, Harry didn't have enough self-control left in him to be cooped up inside all day until his boy came back late at night.

He couldn't wait anymore; he wanted more time with Louis.

Bot being able to have anyone hear or see you for 364 days every year and only have the last three hours on halloween to communicate with someone was frustratingly insane thing to deal with.

So no, he  _needed_  more time with those big, knowing blue eyes to acknowledge him.

"Don't worry about it. go have fun! There's no need to worry, right Zayn? Well, see you in a bit!"

The voice of Jay shrilled from downstairs and the door shut moments after.

Harry followed the sound of the murmurs of voices to the cozy living room.

Jay walked past him without a second pause when part of her shoulder went through Harry's side though he had felt that mentally.

At least he could still turn invisible and to nothing on this special day.

Ignoring the fact that he had touched that despicable woman, Harry trudged on to get a better view to see the one and only, Louis.

Two heads bobbed up from time to time above the top of the couch followed by hushed voices.

Curious to what his sweet  _LouLou_  might he doing from obscured view, Harry cautiously lurked forward as if he might be seen.

When he got close enough, he saw that Louis and his friend, Zayn, were playing with plastic figures that mostly likely belonged to the other child since Harry had never seen that in Louis' possession.

"And he does this... Boom! You're dead, Louis! I won."

Louis shook his head, "he can't do that."

The other boy looked up at Louis with an accusing look which Harry didn't like to have been directed at Louis.

"Yes he can!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah!"

"No."

Thus began the yelling and glares between the two friends.

This went on for a good two minutes but Jay didn't seem to hear with whatever the hell that woman was doing in her room.

Harry bit his lip as he watched back and forth between the two who were getting violent and physical by the second.

He could stop this...he's right there.

But how?

If he managed to time his appearance with Jay's return correctly and flawlessly, what would Zayn do and say if he saw Harry appear in a blink of an eye?

A tale he would blab about to everyone, he reckoned bitterly.

Plus, a part of Harry really didn't want to stop the outburst.

Instead, he wanted to watch the two break their friendship out of his selfish  _jealously_...

Yes, Harry's jealous over how much time and bonding Louis had with, with that  _boy_  more than the relationship with him.

And what if Louis liked spending more time with Zayn than with Harry? 

That wouldn't be good. 

But with one more observing glance at the two screaming and hitting each other, Harry had no choice as the last option whispered into his mind.

With a great sigh, he closed his eyes and willed himself to do the impossible.

_Louis..._

At once, the boy stopped fighting and moving altogether on top of Zayn at the call of his name.

He looked around and got up while whispering, "Haz?"

Harry watched painfully as Louis walked around with his arms out to catch or feel him.

_Yes, I'm here darling but I don't want your friend to see me either._

Louis stood right in front of him but his eyes were elsewhere for he didn't see the boy who he wanted to see.

"Loui - what? What are you doing?" said a confused Zayn, crouched on the couch as he watched his friend wander around while whispering a name.

_We'll see each other very, very soon. I promise. But for now, pretend I'm not here. you'll do that for me, right my lovely Lou?_

The defiant look in Louis' eye gave Harry his answer.

Louis walked back to his slightly scared friend and smiled reassuringly, "Sorry for fighting, Z."

Zayn relaxed, seeing that his best friend was out of that panicking phase, and smiled back.

"I'm sorry too."

As simple as that, they were best, best friends again with smiles and laughter.

Then finally, that disorganized character of woman showed up again with a smile, oblivious to the near end of her son and his friend's friendship.

Harry didn't need to bother but he stepped aside when Jay reached out for her coat which was hung over the couch - he didn't want to have her go through him again.

"Time to go!"

While they were leaving out the door, Louis looked around once more for Harry but frown when he couldn't see his visitor.

To keep the boy from feeling so upset, Harry spoke into the boy's mind to reassure him that he was there and near him like he had promised a few years back.

_Always and forever here beside you._

That made Louis yelp in delight and look around with a smile and Harry swears, the little boy looked directly at him.

...as if he knew and felt his presence.

Like Harry had stated many times before: Louis was ultimately brilliant.

Once they all stepped out of range of The Tomlinson home, including a surprised Harry, the fun and thrill of the halloween traditions began.

The houses in their neighborhood were lit up from orange pumpkins and other led-lights decoration.

In the first ten minutes of the hunt, Harry learned that Jay wasn't planning on leaving the two off by themselves so it was a tragedy that Harry couldn't be alone with Louis.

But at least he could communicate with him through mind-speaking and that was what the two boys did throughout the night in secrecy.

Of course not the whole night for there was the last two remaining hours of the thirty-first where Harry could appear without caution or worry for privacy with  _the brilliant boy, Louis_. 

"Can we do that again?" asked Louis while Harry tucked him in that peculiar night.

The real question was: Did Harry have to wait a full year before doing this again?

Harry smiled, holding the boy's hand.  _"_

_Yes, Lou. Of course."_


	10. 2000

Ever since that successful plan of coming out from hiding from last Halloween, Harry didn't have a single negative thought to do it again.

He didn't get noticed by anyone else than his sweet, sweet Louis so why not do it again?

Really, what was the harm in it?

"You're coming with me, right?"

_Of course, Louis._

"Good."

It was nine pm when Harry decided to show himself after five minutes of Louis whispering out his name in the dark.

It seemed like Louis believed that his Haz would only come out in the darkness which of course wasn't technically true.

Ever since that successful plan of coming out from hiding from last Halloween, Harry didn't have a single negative thought to do it again.

He didn't get noticed by anyone else than his sweet, sweet Louis so why not do it again?

Really, what was the harm in it?

"You're coming with me, right?"

_Of course, Louis._

"Good."

It was nine pm when Harry decided to show himself after five minutes of Louis whispering out his name in the dark.

It seemed like Louis believed that his Haz would only come out in the darkness which of course wasn't technically true.

Now it was half past nine in which the two were talking and smiling and promising little things.

Harry sat on the bed but faced the closed door for caution as Louis sat on the ground below him.

 _"What are you going to dress up as, Lou?"_ whispered Harry.

"A ghost!"

Then the boy stood up and climbed on the bed, pulling something out from under his pillow.

A white cloth or blanket with two big holes was placed in Harry's hands.

All Harry could do was stay quiet and smile, from being amused.

He unfolded the fabric and pulled it over Louis.

Louis blinked back at him through the two holes, his blue eyes lighting up.

_"Ghosts do not look like that."_

Louis frowned, "then what do they look like?"

They look like me, Harry thought bitterly, all transparent, lonely, vengeful, and utterly empty.

But of course, he didn't dare tell the innocent boy that he was a dead, cold spirit.

Instead, he merely smiled and patted the boy's cheeks, making them a bit pink.

_"For one thing, they do not look like pretty little boys."_

He laughed softly,  _"or look like white lumps."_

Louis slide off his costume and pouted.

"I'm not pretty. Mum says boys are supposed to be handsome and girls pretty!"

Harry shook his head and smiled hazily for a while.

If only Louis knew just how pretty he was...

_"Tour mum was wrong. Boys can be pretty, beautiful even, if they truly are...and you certainly are, Lou."_

That wiped the pout off Louis' face and for some reason, he blushed again.

He seemed to do a lot of that around Harry.

Louis shyly looked away, "then you're pretty too, Haz..."

Bow it was Harry's turn to blush furiously.

_"Thank you, Louis. But you are much, much more beautiful than me."_

Louis faintly smiled at him before abruptly jumping down from the bed and to his desk where he retrieved some papers from the drawer.

He grabbed a particular paper from the stack and held it face-forward to his chest.

He walked slowly back to Harry who was peering at the paper, trying to figure out what it was.

 _"What is it, Lou?"_  Harry asked, finally restless to wait for the boy to tell him.

"Something for you."

And then, Louis turned over the paper and handed to him.

Harry looked down at the paper which had a drawing of someone painted on it.

A drawing of him: green eyes, curly hair, even his lips.

Underneath the portrait was the sloppy-ish scribbled words: My Hazza.

_Oh, Louis..._

Harry looked up to the boy he loves so, so much.

His wide opened, cheeks tinted red, and smile wavering.

_"Thank you."_

Harry choked on his words, suffocating with love and care from Louis.

It was long since he had anyone who cared for him and simply didn't walk away from him altogether.

He was drowning in Louis' presence but he didn't mind this time.

"Haz, it's time to go. Mum's calling for me."

Louis broke harry away from his overwhelming thoughts with a tap on his shoulder.

He saw Harry look at his art again and with a smile he said, "keep it. It's for you."

Harry nodded, thankful for the gift.

As he folded the paper and slipped it in the front pocket of his jeans, a knock came.

"Lou? Are you ready to go?" called his mother from outside the door. 

Louis cleared his throat, "give me a minute, mum!"

"Okay but be quick." 

And footsteps trailed away from the room.

Louis faced Harry again who held out his costume for him already.

 _"Same thing as last time?"_ Harry asked, referring to their communication of him speaking in Louis mind during the hunt.

Louis nodded and held out a hand.

If the hateful plan of revenge still went through, Harry might've glared at the hand and vanish on the spot but things were different.

He was different.

So Harry took the little boy's hand and when they were both ready, Louis opened the door.

The two strolled to Jay by the front door, still hand in hand though Harry turned himself invisible.

Louis smiled underneath the white cloth of his ghost costume as Harry spoke, of course in his mind.

_You look so pretty, my ghost._

Which Louis hurriedly whispered back, "you are."

_I'm your pretty ghost?_

Louis turned to where he believed Harry's face was.

"I can only see you and you can disappear. Isn't that what ghosts do?"

_I guess so..._

Then the bright happy smile appeared, melting away Harry's worries and fear of being pushed away for who he is now.

Louis looked up at the glittering night sky and back at his left.

"My pretty ghost Harry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanation: Louis knows and understands that Harry isn't something he should openly talk about to anyone else. He partially gets that Harry is a ghost but he doesn't yet know why he became one (that will be talked between them later on in the story). So yeah, and all the questions Louis holds inside him from all these remembered years with Harry will one day be asked.The answers will be revealed. Oh, and the story is halfway through!


	11. 2001

_The stars are out but you shine brighter than all of them._

Louis smiled and quietly said, "no. You do."

Harry rolled his eyes and squeezed the boy's hand affectionately.

They were walking in the back of the group so that Louis' cousins (they came for the Thanksgiving holiday but stretched their visit to three weeks before it) and Jay were in front of them to keep an eye out if they were paying any attention to Louis and saw that he was speaking to someone not around.

An hour passed since they began their Halloween hunt.

They were stopping by their seventeenth house, two blocks away from Louis' street.

The six boys and girls that were Louis' cousins ran to the doorbell and recited  _trick-or-treat_ to receive their candy.

Louis didn't follow since he was pretty much occupied by Harry.

Jay gave him a questioning look but didn't hold onto the strangeness.

The boys came back, their bags slightly heavier and smiled wider.

"Let's go to that house! I heard from other people that the people there would give us double the candy if we ask nicely." suggested Sam, Louis' cousin who lives in London, and at the words  _double the candy_ , the others went running down the street.

With another weary sigh, Jay bounded after them, calling them in the dark.

Louis laughed, jogging a bit to catch up.

_Slow down, babe, so we can talk a little._

Louis slowed down to a paced walk and nodded.

Harry looked around before turning visible.

 _"Now we can talk."_  he said with a smile.

Louis nodded slowly and took in Harry's appearance.

He was the same as ever, clothes and all, but something was different.

Harry's aura changed to a more happier one.

Louis could feel it vibrating off the smile.

_"Lou? hello?"_

"Sorry..." muttered Louis, shying away from Harry's curious gaze.

Harry shook his head,  _"what were you thinking about? And don't say that it's nothing."_

Louis shrugged and stayed quiet for some time, before asking an entirely different subject.

"Haz?" he called.

"Yes?"

There was pause that both of them felt with intensity and dramatic crescendo.

"Can you tell me now? The answers?" Louis asked, his eyes elsewhere.

Harry didn't say anything, quite taken aback for he didn't expect that.

He thought of what the harm it was to tell Louis everything and then the answer to that question stopped him from doing so.

He sighed,  _"not just yet... I'm sorry."_

Harry was grateful when Louis dropped the subject and returned smiling though it was less vibrant and energetic as before.

But what could he do?

How could he tell Louis what his mother did to him that resulted in his unfair death and eternity of remaining on Earth as a bitter ghost.

The boy was barely ten and the information couldn't be handled by a eighteen year old.

No way was he going to reveal everything anytime soon.

"Mum's coming." warned Louis and Harry vanished again even though he wished he didn't have to.

"We have to stick together, Sammy. Don't run off again!" scolded Jay, leading the down casted group back to where Louis stood.

She smiled at her son and turned back to her nieces and nephews.

"Since Louis listened, he gets to choose which house to go to next."

Seeing his cousins lingering look back and his little interest in candy hunting, Louis shrugged and suggested that they go to the house that Sam was talking about. 

Louis earned chants of agreement and  _thank you's_  from around.

Jay nodded, "alright but we stick together!"

A bunch of 'yes Auntie Jay' and 'we will' were mumbled before they calmly fast-walked, following sam to the promised house.

Again, Louis stayed in the back to have a little bit of privacy he could get.

He looked around for a second.

His mum was occupied and stressed to keep everyone in her vision, his cousins were keen on arriving at the house and getting double the amount of the candy portion as their greedy hearts desired.

"Harry?" Louis whispered to his left where Harry last was before he became invisible.

_First time hearing you say my name, Louis. Feels a bit strange from 'Haz'._

Louis laughed but stopped when his older cousin, James, turned to look at him.

He coughed it off and it worked.

_The old coughing excuse, hm?_

"Yeah..." Louis admitted embarrassingly, noticing the teasing tone.

_No need to be shy, Louis... Oh, look we're here._

Louis looked up and Harry was right.

The group came to a stop in front of a skeletal-decorated house and Sam looking eager to run up and ring the doorbell. 

_Let's go get some candy, yeah?_

Louis discreetly nodded and his mum gave the approval for all of them to go up the porch.

He stood behind Sam and her sister, Mary, to the door.

Harry was still beside him, Louis knew that for Harry was holding his hand and managed to still while they were jogging up the stairs.

The door opened, revealing a girl in a witch's costume and a massive bowl of assortments of name-brand candy.

All seven of them took a turn at grabbing two fistfuls of candy from the bowl and into their own bags.

Once they were back with Jay and did a head-count and decided to go back home, did Louis start talking back to Harry.

"So much candy..." Louis muttered under breath as he looked inside his heavy bag.

Harry chuckled in his mind.

_You're going to get diabetes, Lou. But I don't care. I'll still love you no matter what._

Louis closed his bag, "really?"

_Of course. Remember promise number one?_

Without hesitation, Louis nodded, fairly remembering since he always thought about it and Harry having reminding him every time. 

"Forever and always."

Harry swayed on his feet, almost stumbling back as an emotional warmth passed over him.

There wasn't one thing that he didn't love to death about Louis.

Not a single damn one.

Harry held Louis' hand in both of his, pressing to the small spot on the left side of his chest.

He wasn't sure if Louis could feel him properly but he hoped that he knew what he was doing.

_True to my heart, Louis._


	12. 2002

Jay thought that her son's happiness and smiles were her great doing of raising him.

You see, it's just her who Louis has as a family since his father... well, isn't available to be there for the family.

Jay thought Louis' childhood would contain lonely, unloved characteristics and involve questions about his father that can't be answered.

But strangely, none of these things happened.

It's truly a wonder why it didn't.

It isn't that big of a deal to Jay to pay much mind to the matter as long as it keeps the smile on her son's bright, hopeful face.

That's all she ever wants for him.

"Ready?" Jay asked her eleven year old son, spreading out his crinkled  _Batman_  costume.

Batman was one of his addictions now-a-days. 

"Yeah."

Hay nodded, standing up from the couch, house keys in hand.

"Where to?"

"Zayn's house. We're all meeting there at nine." said Louis with a eager smile.

His mum was going to take a break of chaperoning this Halloween, letting Mrs. Malik finally take over after years of suggesting it.

With his mother gone, he can finally spend time with Harry without any caution.

Jay opened the door out for Louis, "is that sweet Niall boy going to be there?"

Her voice hinted with a bit of exasperation.

Louis still didn't understand how his mum thought that he didn't know of her little crush on the third grader's father at louis' first school, niall horan's father. 

It was embarrassingly obvious though.

Louis nodded, going out through the door with a glance behind him.

There standing by the dark hallway was Harry smiling at him.

He nodded once, telling Louis that he'll be there at Zayn's as well.

Blowing out a content sigh, Louis beckoned his mother outside.

"Let's go. Maybe if we get there on time, we'll meet Mr. Horan." Louis suggested and grinned when his mother blushed a bit.

It was painfully obvious.

And sure enough, the two Tomlinsons arrived just in time to bump into Mr. Horan at the driveway.

Thinking it was best to leave his mum alone with him, Louis stalked off to find Zayn, Niall, and Liam (another fellow who was a third grader) (it was difficult for Louis as being the oldest by two years).

Even when the four sat down in the living room, conversing of which house to visit first and which gave out the best candy, Louis couldn't help but notice glimpses of Harry behind averted eyes.

Of course, he heard Harry's voice clearly.

"Mum! When are we leaving?" yelled Zayn, with a whine.

"In just a minute! Okay, lets go you lot!"

The excited chatter grew louder as the kids ran outside one by one as Mrs. Malik locked the door and in a hurried voice told them to stick together.

Zayn, Niall, and Liam stood in the front, guiding the rest of the group to wherever they desired.

Louis purposely chose to be at the back, behind Mrs. Malik who was too busy controlling the younger ones in front from wandering around by themselves.

Perfect so that Louis would go by unseen.

By Louis' side was Harry, invisible, and their hands linked.

"Haz?" breathed Louis so quiet that he thought of repeating in case Harry hadn't heard him.

But he did.

Harry always heard Louis' plea for him.

_Yes, Louis?_

Louis smiled and tightened his grip on Harry's hand.

"Hi." 

This time Louis spoke much loudly that Mrs. Malik turned back around with a puzzling look.

Louis bit his lip and waited for her to look ahead again which wasn't long since Zayn decided to make a run for it.

"Zayn, come back. Oh - Niall, darling watch out! Where's Liam? Liam?"

Soon all five of them disappeared up the patio of a neatly decorated house, lit up in an eerie way.

Louis waited for them to come back but they didn't and he sighed out, relieved.

In those moments, he realized he was alone with Harry.

Louis made a note to thank his friends later for the diversion they had created unknowingly.

"I think it's okay now. Haz, come out." Louis assured though he was whispering and looking around.

When he looked back to where Harry supposedly stood, he had turned visible.

He still looked the same as ever, the clothes and all, but more happier.

"Hi." 

Louis' voice caught in his throat as he took in the silence.

Jingling their hands a bit in pleasure, Harry smiled.

_"Lou."_

To Harry's unreasonable surprise, just the mere calling of Louis' name made the boy blush fiercely.

He didn't get why Louis did that but at the same time, he didn't want that to ever stop.

It was a nice thought that Harry could trigger every fluttery emotion from Louis with just a word.

_"Why do you blush so much?"_

Louis stuttered and turned redder at the direct question, which was endearing to Harry.

"I-I... I, um, I d-do -"

Harry laughed softly and looked down at their weaved hands sway slowly.

He gently brushed the back of Louis' hand, silencing the boy completely.

_"Are going to call me a pretty ghost again like before?"_

Louis didn't reply but remained frozen and still at Harry caressing his hand.

Though he was too young to comprehend what the feelings bubbling inside him was, Louis knew how positively powerful and important it was.

_Well, I don't mind if you do..._

Louis grinned, "my ghost, so pretty."

Then, Harry had to hold him back from kissing the sweet, kind boy in front of him.

He almost did and it was a close one.

He couldn't... not now.

The time wasn't right after all, he was just a boy.

How wrong would it be to take that away?

Very, very wrong.

Clearing his throat, Harry sighed out happily.

Just holding hands and being with Louis was plentiful.

"Louis? Who's that? Louis! Quick boys, hurry it up. Louis?!" shrieked a woman from behind them.

Mrs. Malik, wide eyed and undoubtedly concerned, with the three boys trotting behind her with satisfied looks at their number of candy.

Her eyes flickered from Louis to Harry rapidly, quickly sorting out the situation.

Urgently waving a hand and rushing from the porch, she said with a strong voice.

"Louis? Come here. Who are you!"

Louis, slowly panicking, turned to Harry who went rigid, becoming emotionless and completely still. 

Dropping Louis' hand from his, Harry met the frightened boy's deep blue eyes, alerting him at once. 

_Don't tell them anything, okay? Don't say a word about me. I'll see you soon, Louis._

Then Harry walked away from Louis, ignoring the shouts from Mrs. Malik, and disappeared within the crowd of other Halloween-ers in the dark.

Mrs. Malik finally reached Louis and began showering him with questions about Harry.

Due to his promise to Harry and from his protectiveness, Louis didn't speak and went mute.

Zayn, Niall, and Liam stood in the background, confusion etched onto their faces and Mrs. Malik dropped the subject when they started asking what was wrong.

She rounded them up and announced that the were going home, ignoring the boys' groans of protest.

The walk back to Zayn's house to Louis was uncomfortable and full of pulsing nervous silence with fear and Mrs. Malik giving him glances.

To be honest, Louis was scared, terrified of what would happen now.

No doubt, Zayn's mum will tell his mum about the strange guy talking to him and holding his hand.

Then his mum will press on for answers and keep him in a tight watch forever.

What if he couldn't keep his promise and tell his mother everything about Harry, his annual visitor that is well, a ghost.

And what would his mum do about Harry?

Would she take him away so that Louis could never again see or talk to him?

Would she really take away his everything he had come to know?

Is Harry going to be in big trouble like those bad guys on TV?

And it would all be Louis' fault.

Louis had to stifle a choking gasp and mask it into a cough when Mrs. Malik looked at him.

_Louis, it's going to be fine. I'm here, I promised._

Then came the trailing hand, weaving it's way to Louis' and grasping it tightly.

Harry knew Louis was aware and understood by the slight shift in his tight shoulders.

_Don't be scared, love._

Harry gulped with a wave of panic as he saw tears build up in Louis.

God, what was he going to do?

Louis eventually made little sounds of terror, even flinching a bit on occasion.

_I'm here. I'm here Louis. Please don't cry. It's going to be fine._

But Louis, for the first time, didn't do as Harry asked.

His body began to contract at each straining sob and sniff.

The woman, Zayn's mother, noticed and turned to his aid.

"What's wrong, Louis? Louis?"

At each concern from the group, Louis cried even harder and Harry couldn't do anything but squeeze his hand for any response and begged inside the boy's mind.

Louis responded just as the same to Harry as to the others.

Nothing but fresh batches of tears and sobs.

"Louis, don't worry. We got enough candy for you too! Here! See?" said Niall, frantic to cheer his friend up but was of no use.

Louis shook his head and tried to speak but chose not to at the last second.

Squeezing twice, Harry whispered in Louis' mind.

_Louis? Louis please!_

Louis gave no recognition of hearing or caring at Harry's pleads.

This caused Harry to breakdown.

He dreaded for something like this to happen.

That Louis would break everything built and push him away.

_Don't do this to me. I'm sorry. Louis, I'm sorry! So-so just stop crying and squeeze my hand if you understand me?_

The squeeze never came.

To Harry, the world crashed and time froze.

His worst nightmare came true.

The ten years of building a strong, secret relationship with Louis Tomlinson was gone in an instant.

How could that be?

In a blink of an eye, everything that became returned to nothing.

Harry halted, having his hand to slip from Louis'.

He watched as Louis, still trembling in Mrs. Malik's arms and accompanied by the three boys, disappeared into the house.

Shock kept his mind blank and disbelief held onto him with rage towards himself.

Like mother, like son as the saying went.

They both left him alone and vulnerable to himself, knowing fully well what they were doing without so much as a glance at him.

Still, Harry couldn't believe it.

No, in an hour everything is going to be okay and he'll have the rest of the night with Louis in his room, talking and laughing over things.

And next year, nothing will change or happen.

It has to, right?

Harry looked up to find Jay running up the stairs and knock frantically on the door, seconds later going inside.

A part of him knew going inside and listening to whatever happening wasn't the best choice but he had to go.

He just did and walked through the door, without being noticed.

They all were in the kitchen, trying to calm his poor Louis down with water and tissues.

Jay was speaking to Mrs. Malik a few feet away from the children's hearing range.

Nurmurs of 'what' and 'who' rose out of Jay's exasperated lips but Harry paid no attention.

He only aimed to talk to Louis.

He walked to the sniffing boy and didn't dare to touch him just yet.

_Lou?_

Louis didn't look up at the voice or blush a deep pink shade like he always did.

Another change.

_Louis, talk to me please? Tell me what's wrong and I can fix whatever it is. I promise you. I promise!_

Louis shook his head and stared at the white tiles floor by his feet.

The silence was killing Harry deeply and slowly.

Harry's lips trembled as he formed the question before asking it out loud.

He sank to his knees and was the same height at Louis.

_Do you...do you still l-love me? Louis answer me please._

Louis looked up, his face sunken and dark, though his eyes still remained the bright blue shade.

"I always love you." he whispered, watching his mum in the corner of his eye.

Harry sighed but the painful sadness resumed prodded his chest like a sharp needle.

_But why did you do that? Push me away and cry?_

Louis paused for a moment and was cut off by the two women coming to him.

Harry crawled away and Jay took his place in front of Louis.

"Feel better now?" Jay asked, a tinge of caution in her tone.

Louis nodded.

"Then can you tell me what happened and who that boy was?"

Harry felt as if an ice cube slid down his back and couldn't bear to stay in the same room.

He stood up and left, hoping that nothing that Louis said would change anything, change them.

He reached the doorway of the entrance to the kitchen and found it ironic.

He was walking away, escaping his duty and responsibility just like the woman who gave birth to the boy he cared and loved so much.

But then again, he wasn't like Jay from that horrid, cold night years ago.

With that realization, Harry turned around, watching Louis mumble incoherent words. 

He bit his lower lip, looking at the clock on the wall behind Louis.

The night was coming to an end.

Harry willed himself and said his goodbye.

_Bye, Louis. See you next time..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, oh shit...


	13. 2003

This year Harry learned just how much could change in a year and for the worse at that.

It all started from last year's Halloween, the incident when Harry was spotted with Louis.

Though no one could see or hear him, Harry was still there in the house, learning and watching everything that goes on.

For the following three months, Jay persisted in getting answers of who the boy with him was but Louis kept quiet.

Seeing that her son wouldn't give in, she dropped the subject and Mrs. Malik hastily dismissed her sighting that night as a trick of her eyes.

She even supplied that she saw the boy as transparent and glowing which was more understood as a hallucination.

Ghost or the mistake of the eyes?

Eyes were more reasonable.

Though reluctant, Jay decided to officially stop and forget about it.

But Harry knew better that she wouldn't give up that easily and sure enough, on one tuesday of late summer, Harry caught the details of her plan through secret phone calls.

From what little Harry could eavesdrop, so far, it wasn't good.

A few more months passed and Harry noticed how clingy and observant Jay became around Louis.

She wouldn't ever let him out of her sight, even when he had to to use the men's room at the department store, she stood guard outside.

Harry didn't fully understand what was of her plan for she didn't discuss it's matters on the phone at the house, wary and paranoid that Louis might hear. 

By the looks of her being secretive and in definite that Louis mustn't know of her plans, whatever it was that Jay was doing was definitely bad.

Maybe it was good for her but then again, all the good things in Jay's book was the opposite to Harry's.

On the last Friday of October, the annual Halloween, Louis had gone to school who wouldn't come back until later in the afternoon.

While he was learning a few blocks away, his mum was devising a setup in.

Harry heard her speak to someone on the phone, catching the words 'treatment' and 'hallucinations' very clearly.

Grudgingly wishing he could do something, Harry had nothing else but to follow Jay around the house, keeping an eye on her.

She simply sat on the couch and waited for Louis to come home.

What was off was that she was dressed up nicely and was holding some papers.

An hour passed by and she remained motionless on the couch, staring off into space.

This worried Harry but alas, he couldn't do anything.

When the clock read half past two, a knock rapped against the hollow door and Jay opened the door for Louis.

"Just leave your things here." said Jay, with no emotion whatsoever in her voice.

Startled and confused, Louis stood his ground.

"Why? What's going on?"

Jay's jaw clenched for a moment and she poised herself, standing upright.

"Mum?"

Harry watched as Jay closed her eyes and tap her foot in a erratic beat.

As if to control herself in a way...

She opened her eyes, "we're going to meet Dr. Anders."

"Wha - doctor? I... you're taking me to a shrink?" Louis choked out in a disbelieving rage.

Jay ignored the deafening gasps and mutters from her son.

She grabbed her keys and the face-down papers on the couch.

She flipped one paper over, showing what it was to Louis.

Louis froze, obviously knowing what the paper meant.

From where Harry stood, he couldn't see what was on the sheet and he was too caught up in the moment to move closer.

"How - who is he?" 

Harry wasn't foolish or deaf to not notice that Jay started off with a 'how' as to say:  _How do you know him..._

Jay wrenched the paper away from Louis' clammy hands.

"'My one and only Haz... forever and always...' Louis tell me right now. Is he the strange boy from last year? Zayn's mother did see him, huh? She wasn't mistaken!"

Jay looked at her son to say something but he stubbornly didn't.

Louis stood still and stared at the ground.

"Louis! Jesus... 'my one and only' do you know what those words mean?" shrilled Jay.

She frustratingly paced for some time before stopping from Louis mumbling.

Breathing heavily with red rimmed eyes, Louis glared at his mother.

"I know what it means and there wasn't any boy last year."

Harry frowned and walked slowly to the two.

Louis was lying, good, but how was he going to explain the drawing of him?

"Then who is this Haz?"

Louis spoke in the same hard tone, "his real name is Harry who is my boyfriend."

Jay stumbled back a bit, "your boyfriend? Don't you mean friend?"

"No."

Rubbing her head, Jay painfully sighed out.

"Okay then why have I never seen or met him before? Where does he live? I need a word with him and preferably his parents." demanded Jay with a flying hand in the air.

Harry waited and waited for Louis to answer.

What will he say?

The truth or another lie?

"He doesn't want you to see him and he lives with us. He has no family but me."

Jay stuttered a 'what', now a look of terror and concerned was upon her tight face.

And for a moment, Harry could see her go pale and face fall with a gulp like her fears became true.

Treatment...hallucinations....

Harry thought and then it clicked.

She thought something was terribly wrong with Louis and him explaining secured her wavering theory.

As soon as Harry understood the thoughts of Hay, she yanked Louis arm, dragging him out the door.

Louis, of course, tried to free himself by tugging back but it wasn't enough.

The paper in Jay's hands scattered to the floor in the struggling and Harry could only stand there and watch as Louis begged his mother to let him go.

Seconds after the door slammed shut but Harry could still hear the voices yelling:

"Mum please! I'm not mad! I swear, please!"

"Louis just - this is for your own good. All this time, you really didn't think I couldn't hear your whispers late at night from next door?"

"Mum!"

"No, this is to help you. Get inside, Louis. don't make this difficult."

"I'm telling the truth! Harry's real, Haz is!"

"He isn't! He's just part of a trick your mind created. That can be solved by talking to Dr. Anders daily!"

"No - Haz? Haz, please help! Hel - mum don't! I'll be -"

A loud slam of the door came and the start of the car engine followed.

Harry sank to his knees, feeling much more empty and broken then he had been before Louis entered his life.

Louis had called for him...  _screaming_  for help but he couldn't.

He couldn't do anything about it but watch.

Harry let his sweet boy down and he knew this might happen the moment he carelessly decided to step foot outside of the house.

All because of his selfish desire to spend more time with Louis.

Opening his eyes and realizing nothing came out of his eyes to ease the gut wrenching pain in him, Harry pounded at the couch which stayed untouched.

Feeling wild with devastation, Harry got to his feet again and noticed the papers of Louis' drawings beside his foot.

The drawings of him.

Curiosity and longing filled his mind as he picked one up.

He wondered how skilled Louis got artistically since the last time Harry observed his work.

Harry turned the paper over and anger bubbled inside him.

The drawing was like a black and white picture of him.

Yes, Louis improved and was highly skilled over time but as proud as Harry should be, he wasn't.

He felt anger - loathing at what the perfect drawing meant.

Unmistakably, Hay would've recognized Harry in the drawing.

She knew.

She knew he was back somehow but she didn't want that to become permanent.

Jay wanted Harry out again.

Last time she took his life, now she's taking Louis away.

The real question was: Is Harry just going to sit there paralyzed with fear and hopelessly weep like before?

He sure fucking isn't going to this time.

Not when there's still one last promise to keep; and the final truth to be told.

How Harry had died and why it became Jay's responsibility.


	14. 2004

Harry stood by the window in Louis' bedroom, listening to the distant chatters of eager children and teens, and the cool, whistling breeze of the fall night.

Usually Harry would be happy to learn that it was Halloween and that nightfall was close by.

But things have changed.

He and Louis have changed and it was all that treacherous woman's fault.

She really has a knack at destroying Harry's life and death.

Since that day when Jay literally dragged Louis to meet with his therapist, Louis changed drastically.

Whatever that was discussed and used as treatment for Louis, turned him quiet and distant.

He no longer was the shy, blushing boy he once was just a year ago.

Harry didn't know what to do once the 31st arrived and he was allowed to be seen and heard from.

He wasn't exactly sure Louis wanted to see him or...if he even remembers him.

As if Jay knew Harry was around them, she and Louis had some agreement to not talk about the therapy session outside of the clinic.

This was really unfair but Harry coped with it, telling himself that Louis would explain everything once they can see each other again later in the year.

He knew it was false hope he was giving himself but he just needed to believe again that everything was the same.

That the strong bond he and Louis had remained unaffected, unprovoked, by all this bad change. 

Harry could only get his answer by seeing Louis again, to talk directly to him.

Whatever Louis will say will be the answer, no matter what it varied.

And in just a few more minutes, the answer would be revealed.

Harry turned away from the window and to the door when heavy footsteps grew nearer.

Someone leaned against the wood and a sigh came after.

"I already took the pills, I swear. Mum, leave. Yeah, yeah. Goodnight." said Louis in a tired voice. 

Harry's chest tighten as he took the words in and how he had said it in that happiness-drained way.

_God damn therapists and their medication._

"Louis," a sharp intake of breath, "don't listen to the voice..."

"I know, I know, alright? The pills are going to stop the voices and visions. That's what they're made for...for schizos like me..." Louis said in a tight, dark voice that Harry barely recognized as his.

_God damn Jay._

_Fuck her for ruining Louis, my Louis..._

There was a long pause of silence filled with self-hatred, useless apologies, and cruel mutterings.

For the past three months, Jay's been trying so hard for Louis to forgive her though at the same time she still insists on therapy.

She just didn't get it, any of it at all. 

"Okay... Goodnight, Louis. I lov -" 

The more feminine voice got cut of midway as Louis opened the door and closed it in a heartbeat.

Harry almost choked out a sob just looking at Louis who was leaning against the door with tears brimming his eyes.

Louis pushed himself off the door once the footsteps of his mother faded far away to nothing.

Helpless and nervous, Harry stood by the window across from where he sat crouched and broken.

His face was hidden behind his knees and his sadness was muffled by an arm covering his mouth.

This wasn't the first time Harry witnessed Louis' breakdown, in numbers, this would be the thirty-third time.

Back then Harry couldn't do anything at all but just watch Louis let all his rage, screams, and frustration out until he became to fatigue to move an inch more.

Now it was Halloween, the only day of the year where Harry could walk on the earth like the living.

Louis gradually was spiking to be hysterical in his sobs and heaving of breaths.

He cradled his sides, apart of his shirt balled up in his mouth to mute any sounds, and eyes shut so tightly, the yellowish pressing showed.

Once he started wheezing a bit, that was enough that Harry could handle.

Harry didn't yet show himself but remained hidden in the shadow casted by the willow tree towering over the house in the backyard from the open window.

After taking a few calming breaths, Harry choked out a name.

_L-Louis?_

Louis stopped moving and slowly lifted his head, looking around before lowering his head again.

"I'm not supposed to hear you; I've taken my meds. Jesus," Louis breathed out with a disbelieving shake of his head.

"Great, maybe, it doesn't work on me." Louis kept mumbling nonsense to himself, worrying Harry even more.

Why was he assuming that he was hearing voices implanted by his mind?

He did forget that Harry was real, just as he had said months ago?

What had Dr. Anders convince him of as?

_It doesn't work because it's not something that'll be cured of by prescribed pills._

Louis groaned softly, "oh, it talks back to me too. fucking fabulous."

_It talks back to you because it's got it's own mind, lips, and voice... because it's another different person._

Louis didn't seem to care much of what Harry was saying, lost in his own brainwash that it was a trick of his supposed abnormal mind. 

_Hello? Lou?_

"I'm insane... hearing things... liking things I made up myself... crazy..." The muttering kept going and Louis simply refused to let Harry in, in fact, he seemed to be resisting his voice.

Louis laughed, "mum... Anders... Hell, even Zayn and his mum were right. I've lost it completely. But I was so sure I wasn't..."

_Fine if you won't listen to me in your head -_

_"- I'll talk out loud then."_

This did the trick and Louis' voice died out.

Louis didn't look particularly scared of the unknown voice coming from the dark corners of his room but his hand was trembling.

Whether it was out of rage or fear, Harry didn't care enough to dwell on that thought.

"Oh great! Now I made it talk louder." sighed Louis with his head in his hands. 

_"No you didn't. I did because I'm me, my own person."_

Harry decided that he would stay hidden, seeing that Louis was completely brainwashed into forgetting everything that was of him.

Louis slowly got up, balancing himself with the top of his desk.

He peered through the dark, "then who are you?"

The innocent cluelessness was like a dagger, puncturing Harry's chest over and over again.

What did they do to his Louis?

_"Take a guess."_

Louis shrugged and sat clumsily on his bed.

"You're the same voice that always talked to me throughout the years. A pure figment of my imagination, I suppose."

Not even  _close_. 

_"No! No, no, absolutely not!"_

Louis flinched at the voice and crawled an inch backwards. 

He sat up straighter in defense, "If _I_ didn't make that up then how? How is it all real? There's no such thing as the power of invisibility or mind-speaking."

Harry looked away,  _"Spirits. Maybe spirits can do that."_

A rumble of chuckles jolted Harry from his shameful aversion of Louis' gaze.

"So you're saying you're a spirit of some sort? A ghost?" mused Louis, his smile faltering at the thought.

A ghost spirit?

 _"Do you believe in ghosts?"_ asked Harry, his ears alert to catch any response that tumbles from the boy's lips.

Louis hesitated, faintly remembering something that felt like a dream but yet, so real like a memory...

His eyes zoned out in thought, "I... there was one ghost I - no,"

Louis strained from himself, battling with is thoughts, his forbidden memories - his therapist and mother labeled as. 

"No, I don't."

Harry's heart sunk.

Louis remembered bits of it, but barely.

Still, barely was something.

_"Okay. Thank you."_

The announcement of his departure was evident in his tone that didn't go unnoticed by the clever Louis Tomlinson.

Louis rose from the bed, staring right at the space where Harry stood though it was least likely since Harry was still in his invisible form.

"You still haven't answered my question: who are you?"

Harry only had a few seconds to spare until his chance of replying expired but even in those short three seconds, he felt that it was forever that he sorted out on what to say.

Louis was almost completely forgot Harry and everything else that was real between them.

He didn't believe anymore so wasn't it safer to lie to him?

Lie for his own good and sanity?

If Harry reminds Louis of everything again, what promises that the same thing won't occur again?

They will go outside again, become drunk in their own little happy world and risk being themselves around other observant, familiar eyes.

Someone Louis knows will see and tell his mum about the unusual feel of the situation. 

It already turned Jay frantic and unmerciful the first time so what would she do if the same terrifying thing happened for the second?

The treatment already sucked the life and joy out of Louis in just the first month, leaving a hollow, empty shell in its wake. 

No, repeating that pain was the last thing Harry wanted to do.

He must lie.

_"Who am I? I'm...I'm a spirit who has come to give you a message: stay happy and keep drawing out your passion for little important things. And don't forget that there's someone out there who's beside you,"_

Harry saw Louis' face softened with ease at the fake message which wasn't really all a lie.

_"Forever and always."_

And Harry didn't dare to look back at Louis after ensuring that everlasting promise again which probably Louis didn't remember anything about.

Expecting a response, Harry waited with a faint surge of hope.

Maybe, the oath will bring Louis' distant memory back.

Just maybe.

"I-I will." said Louis with a wavering doubt.

And Harry's smile faded with a pulsing throb in his throat.

He had difficulty speaking and his voice choked out.

_"Good."_

This time he turned back without a thought of hope or anything, really, and for once, he was grateful that he had to leave as the clock struck midnight.

It hurt while watching Louis sit on his bed, calling for him and asking whether he knew him.

Louis gave up and his harsh reality brought him to tears and the breakdown began again.

At one half of the restless silence, Louis started mumbling to himself while staring blankly at the floor from his pillow:

"I'm always alone now..."

"I don't even remember what I did that was so wrong..."

"When did I get abnormal?"

"Who's Haz? Why am I forbidden to know him?"

It hurt a lot to witness this and Harry knew there'll be more days to come of this same situation taking place.

What hurt him even more was that he was useless in these times.

The 31st passed and he could no longer walk amongst the living.

There was nothing Harry could do at all.

For a second Harry decided that disappearing and not returning was for the better now.

And he thought: let the boy live his life normally without the complications of his mother's past and the selfish, bent ghost who he once loved.

Let him forget it  _all_.

Shame, Harry can't do that for himself.


	15. 2005

The memory of the mysterious curly haired boy grew so distant that it seemed like a faded dream after the numerous hours, days, weeks, and months of therapy consisting of methods to clear the mind of him and prescribed pills.

Louis, as his doctor claims, had improved and was nearly "cured" enough to disclose the treatment.

The last checkup was set to be on the week before Halloween.

His anxiety (due to the stress of treatment) levels reduced to normal and everything seemed fine.

Louis proved that he no longer heard of saw things related to the boy who he was forbidden to think or say his name.

Dr. Anders filed some paperwork that officially ended Louis' therapy and that was it.

Louis was freed of that torturous two years of therapy.

No more acting that he was all that sincere and real to Dr. Anders expectations. 

"You sure you don't want to go out? With Zayn, Niall, and Liam?" asked Jay, nervously.

Louis shook his head and that made her even more concerned.

"You're allowed to go from now on." she added with a metallic taste in her mouth. 

She felt guilty alright for sending him to  _get help and stay locked up inside the house._

But what else could Jay do?

She needed to protect Louis; she had to.

Wipe his memory clean about that boy...

God, and don't get her started on how he came back and talked to her precious son. 

He couldn't be alive.

No, it was impossible.

Then, is he a ghost?

Did he come back to torture her by interacting with Louis?

Even with these reasonable thoughts, it still didn't quite fit to the past and wasn't, well, possible.

There's no such thing as ghosts; there's only the living on Earth.

Right?

"Mum, don't worry about and go. Bobby's going to think you've stood him up if you waste another minute here." 

Louis tried to smile in support but felt his strength leave him as his mother headed for the door.

As much as he hated and despised his mother for what selfish decision she had made without his consent, Louis couldn't help but be a bit happy for her.

No one deserved to be alone, no matter how much they deserve it.

Maybe the reason for Jay's strictness and sometimes irrational actions is that she had to become like that to hide her vulnerability.

She had no one strong enough to protect her and so she had to take that role herself.

But Bobby Horan, Niall's divorced father, came and seemed fit and willing to fill that tiring role instead.

Louis did notice that Bobby was so reliable, caring, kind and responsible to make his loveless mother to shine.

Every time Louis saw the smile on his mother's face when Bobby called or showed up out of the blue, his anger and loathing melted away.

He still was very angry at her but not deep enough to bite back at her all the time.

After all, she's his mother - his only family who cared, worried, and loved him.

Faintly, just faintly, he felt that he had thought about this but with someone else.

Hay sighed, "call me if anything goes wrong. Answer me, please Louis."

Louis nodded, "I will."

She gave him one last look and locked the door behind her, leaving Louis alone while she drove off to meet her date.

Then, Louis went right back on finishing his drawing of someone who he can't really identify.

The person in his drawing was definitely a male with the jaw and all but in Louis' honest opinion, he's a pretty one.

A mass of curly hair, green eyes, and a curving pair of pink, thin lips stared back at him, tugging something in his memory.

This happened every time he drew this figure over and over again.

Whoever it was (if this person was real), Louis knew him in some way and he was sure that his mother was the cause of his loss of memory.

Always his mother.

You see, over the years Jay has kept secrets and past incidents from him which was only natural for louis to be curious about.

She would hastily change the subject or simply say 'it doesn't matter anymore' or 'the past is in the past'.

From that, Louis knew too well that she really didn't want him to know. 

During therapy, the subject of his father was brought up and Louis could only answer two questions out of ten.

Why?

Because he was only given the information that his father left them before Louis was born and that he would never return again.

What on earth did the last part mean?

Louis had no damn clue.

And he couldn't ask because what was the point; his mother wouldn't answer or probably would lie.

At first, Louis figured that the topic of his father who abandoned then was a sensitive and painful one from seeing his mother's awry and trembling reaction.

Now he wasn't so sure anymore from noticing that her silence and the distant look in her eyes could mean guilt.

But why would she be guilty over someone who stole her heart and deserted the scene right when it so happened louis was made?

The only answer left was: his father didn't actually abandoned him.

Something else had happened and Louis was going to find out one way or another.

He set his graphite pencil down and admired his work for a few eerie moments before sitting up from the kitchen table and pocketing the paper.

Louis walked around the house and sat down on the couch, hearing voices and noises from outside.

Through the window showed the neighborhood swallowed by darkness and glowing with the halloween decorations.

He stood up and revealed himself to the window.

To the right came out three boys in popular costumes: Zayn, Liam, and Niall.

Liam was the first to have noticed louis by the window and waved at him.

Louis didn't return the greeting; he wasn't feeling up for it.

Soon Niall and Zayn saw who Liam was silently communicating with and waved a hand over. 

"Come out! Louis!"

Louis shook his head, mouthing a 'no'. 

Niall still insisted that he should come but Zayn, obviously understanding Louis, pulled him away.

Louis was grateful that his friend Zayn still cared and talked to him though he was purposely being distant and unsocial.

They had a strong bond of friendship that won't be broken. 

Right now, that's just what Louis needed.

He watched the night turn darker and the loud voices outside decrease as hour by hour passed.

It's been three hours since his mum had left and he didn't mind that she wasn't home, though he was a bit worried.

But she was with Bobby; she was safe. 

All these thoughts about safety and love triggered a hollow, swelling feeling in Louis.

Again, it was all too familiar but not enough for him to place what it was.

Someone had his hear, Louis sorted out.

Louis whipped around to the empty area behind him, as if searching for something...

His eyes laid upon the pad of paper, set with a sharpened pencil.

That someone was the boy in his hazy drawings, he concluded.

What more was that he was so sure that if he found the boy, all the missing pieces of his memories will be filled again.

And then Louis found himself running to his room while thinking these conclusions.

His hands went flying through his drawers before he could process what it was he was searching for.

His fingers grasped onto a little square-shaped crinkled paper that seemed to be folded several times.

Hastily and anxiously, he unfolded it and almost screamed with delight and horror.

Yes, the paper held one of his old drawings from when he was younger.

The same muse was painted on but with premature details and artistic characteristics.

But it was very easy to recognize the similarity of the curly haired boy.

Louis squinted as he read the scribbled words underneath the drawing.

_My pretty ghost, Harry._


	16. 2006

A whole year passed, actually two, since Harry even properly talked to Louis.

He tried to forget and ignore the boy but that was quite difficult being stuck in the guy's house for all eternity and seeing everything that goes around in the house.

It was definitely hard not to give notice. 

It was fairly difficult to ignore Louis last halloween when Harry watched him stare at his drawing of him over and over again until he eventually passed out from the lack of sleep.

Harry thought Louis' memories came back and his state of mind returned from before the therapy but the next day told him otherwise.

As usual, Louis went to school and returned with a deeper sigh and a cluttered mind.

He didn't pay any attention to the drawing of Harry again but spent a lot of time with his mum.

Harry didn't bother to spy on those two for he was feeling too upset over the partial loss of his Louis.

He still thought it was best to stay away; that it was all for the better.

He was doing it for Louis.

Now came the dreaded day, the end of October, and Harry must slink in the shadows and watch the evening unfold.

He was standing by the kitchen, watching Louis assure his mother of his safety and promising of his arrival time.

Harry rolled his eyes.

Louis wasn't a little kid anymore.

He was almost fifteen and surely didn't need a full body shot check up for precaution.

_Really now..._

"Bye." said Louis, closing the door behind him. 

Harry stayed behind for a while, long enough to see Jay's guilt, watering eyes.

As he passed through the door (literally), he was sure he heard Jay sob out an apology.

Harry snorted unmercifully, thinking that she was too late to make amends.

Unbelievable, she really was.

"It's been so long, Tommo..." Niall teased, patting his friend on the back.

Louis rolled his eyes, "we saw each other at school. Today. Or do you have a memory loss, Horan?"

Niall thought for a second and smiled proudly.

"Soon-to-be stepbrother, you mean." corrected Niall.

Of course, Louis smiled back though a displeased twinge snapped in his stomach.

He loved Niall like a brother and now in a few months they'll actually be brothers. 

Louis nodded, "yeah, stepbrother..."

"Enough with the cheesy bonding! the party has already started!" exclaimed Zayn, running down the porch with his shoes untied.

A deep sigh escaped from Louis.

How many times must he explain to him?

Just because his sister goes didn't mean he does. 

"How many times do I have to tell you? They're not going to let us in, Z. You're only thirteen! I'm fifteen and even  _I_  can't get in."

Zayn pouted, thinking of a counter argument but Louis waved him off and began walking towards a house.

In defeat, Zayn trudged on and followed louis along with Niall and Liam.

"In a few years we'll be able to go. Don't be so down Zayn." whispered Niall, with an encouraging smile.

"Yeah but five years is a long time..." Zayn trailed off when Louis came to an abrupt halt in front of them.

Louis turned around without looking at them, "you guys go in. I'm not feeling up to it tonight."

Liam frowned slightly at the strange look on Louis' face.

The guy looked like he was going to pass out.

He took a step forward, "you alright Louis?"

There was a pause for Louis was staring at something behind their heads.

They all turned to see what the oldest boy was looking at.

They found nothing strange or alarming in particular.

"Louis?" Zayn called, hesitantly.

Louis' eyes drifted back to the trio looking very concerned and scared.

"Nothing... I thought I saw er... kate." said Louis, lying. 

Niall broke out into a grin, "oooh Kate Valle."

Zayn and Liam cooed in addition, getting what the situation was about.

Biting the inside of his cheeks, Louis nodded and allowed himself to blush.

"Okay, we'll go inside and you can go off and flirt with Kate." Zayn winked at Louis while passing him to the front door.

Liam stopped to pat him on the back, "or stay there with her."

Louis nodded, adding a smile. 

"Yeah..."

With a push from Niall, Louis stumbled forward.

Louis turned around, but still managed to get a view of the tree standing on the yard of the house across from them.

"Don't worry. We won't tell your mum that you went off by yourself though she strictly told us to stay with you. Just don't get yourself in trouble." Niall said, with a little serious gleam in his eyes.

This shocked Louis to look at him with his full attention.

It was amusing how already Niall acted like his brother.

Like his older brother, really.

Smiling, Louis said, "thanks Niall."

Niall nodded, saying that that's what friends, mates, and soon-to-be brothers are for. 

As soon as Louis walked away from the group, he forgot about everything else but the figure by the tree.

When he was leading the group to the house where he was last at, a voice spoke into his mind.

A deep, husky voice.

It only said his name, twice.

Then the voice ordered him to turn around so Louis did and when he turned around, he saw a boy staring right at him by the tree.

What was crazy was that Louis somehow knew he was the one who magically spoke in his mind and he felt that he knew him.

That the stranger staring at him and calling his name was not so much of a stranger.

Something was there in his eyes; knowledge.

What was even crazier was that he disappeared a second after Louis saw him. 

Louis blinked and just like that he vanished. 

But the boy wasn't entirely gone because after he vanished, the voice of the boy said the word: come.

_Come, Louis._

It had whispered as if testing him.

Naturally, Louis should be freaking out at this strange eeriness but he wasn't.

Though his mind couldn't remember it, it seemed like his body knew what this meant and that it had happened before.

And somewhere deep inside him he wanted to go find the boy in longing and desperation.

He even felt sad and happy at the same time while all this happened. 

Louis didn't look both way before crossing the road and ran to the old oak tree in the property of Ms. Jerome's.

When he got there, he looked around the area for the figure that made him feel something strong and different.

For nearly half an hour, Louis ran around the neighborhood, stopping several people who were wandering alone to get a glimpse of their face to identify if they are his stranger.

He still didn't find the boy by the time he was spotted by Liam and they informed him that they had to go back home.

Though Louis didn't want to leave yet, he had no choice.

He needed to keep this to himself or he'll have therapy again or have to deal with even worse maybe.

"Were you with Kate?"

"How was it?"

"Did your Tommo charm work?"

"Did you two kiss?"

The boys showered Louis with scandalous questions about his 'date' with Kate Valle (false), a girl who's in Louis' drama class and which people have gossiped that he might liked her (false).

On top of the lie of seeing her and implying that he liked her, Louis lied again to keep the vanishing boy safe.

When the four boys arrived at Zayn's house, their parents were inside, chatting of their night and adult stuff.

Bobby asked of their night and keeping to their promise, Niall made up a story of how Louis accidentally stepped on a pumpkin decoration and got scolded by the owner, making it known that Louis was with then the whole night. 

Zayn and Liam backed Niall's story by laughing along and making remarks at Louis while discreetly giving him teasing winks.

The rest of the night was spent on telling stories and summarized details of their day which Louis didn't pay much attention to.

He nodded in agreement or as an answer when someone had asked him something while he was out of it.

Then he'd zone out after the spotlight moved on from him.

Louis couldn't stop thinking of the boy and had his own little replay of his night.

The voice; the tree; the light eyes.

Everything related repeated inside Louis' head especially the words...

_Louis Louis Louis._

_Come find me._

_Why won't you find me, love?_

_Don't you want to see me?_

It was then when Louis realized that he wasn't thinking of the words, it was speaking to him.

The voice was back; the boy was back.

Louis looked around only to find no one else and catching his mother's observant eyes, he brushed off his suddenness as a stretch of his shoulders.

He wanted to run around and call for the boy to show himself but he couldn't.

Lately, he couldn't do anything.

The voice kept talking of things Louis didn't understand.

_Forever and always, remember that?_

_No...I don't_ , Louis hoped that the boy could hear his thoughts as well.

_I don't think you do anymore..._

The voice now sounded distressed and devastated like it was heartbroken. 

Louis' heart squeezed and his chest tightened.

_Please?_

_I miss and love you._

A part of louis replied a 'love you back'.

_Forever..._

"...and always." Louis breathed out quietly, his heart racing and mind buzzing as he spoke.


	17. 2007

Harry couldn't do it anymore; stop trying.

He realized this when he was unaware of interacting with Louis last year.

He didn't even know he was talking in his mind; he thought he was talking to himself.

And when he saw those blue clear eyes stare skeptically right at him and then saw the lost boy look for him, still Harry couldn't stop.

He so wanted to talk to Louis again and staying away from him was impossible.

It was tearing him apart.

It was selfish of him, he knew too well but he had to.

For his sanity and hopefully Louis' as well.

Hopefully at least a little part of Louis still does.

Doorbells chimed from next door as Harry stood at the porch of the house.

He scanned the houses and streets littered with people dressed as actors, characters, monsters, etc.

So far he had only spotted Louis twice, roaming around with his school friends. 

Louis had gone out for halloween with his group of friends an hour ago.

Which was a good thing that he was socially active and enjoying his life again (sort of).

Tearing away from the scenery before him, Harry turned around and looked through the window of the house.

Jay and her new husband, Bobby Horan, were eating in the kitchen while talking and laughing over something.

Harry smiled a little, not because of the happy sight but of what that meant. 

She was preoccupied inside and away from Louis; Louis was outside and most likely alone from his attitude of being closed off.

Perfect situation for Harry to be left unnoticed.

Finally some real alone time.

Just him and Louis, Louis and him.

Once again, reunited.

Counting to ten, Harry trudged off the porch and to the crowds partially hidden by the blanket of night.

It was risky to confront Louis, Harry knew that too well, but he had hope.

This past year Louis had starting drawing again and writing words in the corner of his room by the window. 

Although the last time Harry properly spoke to Louis, he had told him to keep drawing since, that wasn't what gave him hope to believe his sweet, beautiful Louis was still there.

It was the contents of his actions.

In his drawings he's been sketching eyes, green eyes.

Eyes shaped and styled just like Harry's.

It couldn't have been a mere coincidence.

Then the scribbles on the walls made by him all spelled out and worded as 'forever and always' written over and over again in that same spot where Harry always stood at at first appearance.

Impossible to be a coincidence.

Louis knew, he remembered.

And that was all for Harry to find him and explain everything to him.

Everything since that dreadful day....

Harry found the person he was looking for at the park flaunting with others around his age with red solo cups.

A Halloween party.

And alcohol?

Harry frowned as he emerged himself out of thin air and blended in with the drunken adolescents.

Louis was underage but why was he holding one of those alcoholic beverage drinks?

As harry reached the lone boy sitting below a tree with a sad frozen laughter plastered on his pink face, his heart dropped.

The once bright eyes turned dark with the night and something more darker, grief.

Throwing his cup away, Harry kneeled next to Louis, forgetting everything and everyone else.

 _"Lou! Snap out of it!"_ yelled Harry, having trouble ripping the red solo cup from Louis' surprisingly strong grip.

At first, Louis spat curses at him but slowly his voice dissolved as he stared at Harry in detail.

Harry, being to shocked and trained on sobering up Louis, didn't pay attention to the boy's gasps and muttering.

Ignoring the flying punches and struggling from Louis', Harry managed to drag the drunk boy away from the center of the party. 

Harry led them both to the park's washroom.

"Hey hey hey! leave me alone! W-Who the fuck are - do you think you are?" Louis panted, "wha - where am I?"

Instead of having his questions answered, Louis was splashed with cold water from the water fountain.

Spluttering, Louis opened his eyes to face the unpleased look of the stranger who took him.

"What the hell?!"

He brushed away his wet bangs from his eyes to see better.

 _"I will answer your questions after you wake up."_  said the stranger, turning around to the bench that was by the fountain.

Louis gaped at the boy in disbelief.

Who the fuck did he think he was?

Who the fuck even is he?

Taking deep breaths, Louis felt his heart slow down and his mind clear up.

Once he felt a hundred percent sure he could hold a normal conversation and speak sense, he slowly walked over to the curly haired boy waiting for him on the bench.

The boy smiled at him and patted the other half of the bench, which was empty, for him to sit. 

When louis stood his ground five feet away, the stranger shrugged and sat up.

 _"Do you feel okay? Can you think clearly - do you know what I'm saying?"_  asked the stranger with a concerned look.

Louis didn't look at him as he replied, "I'm not a child."

The stranger nodded with a sarcastic look,  _"oh yes. That's why you, an underaged sixteen year old, practically drowned yourself with alcohol. Very adult-like."_

Louis glared at the stranger.

He didn't even know him and he himself looked around his age.

Who is he to scold him?

Who is he?

"You're probably underaged like me and part of the party too so you should be talking, Curly." spat Louis, arms uncrossed.

He hugged his sides and inched forward and lowered himself onto the edge of the bench, far away from the creep.

The stranger chuckled lightly,  _"Curly. That's a new one from you."_

It took a few seconds for Louis to process what curly over here had said.

Frowning, he repeated, "from you?"

The faint smile on the stranger's face slipped to a regretful one.

Louis sat up and backed away.

"What do you mean a new one from you? Have we met before? I don't remember you! Who are you?"

Louis waited to be answered with explanations but Curly didn't say anything.

He just sat there head down and deep in thought.

Scared and feeling extremely vulnerable, Louis stood up and pointed a threatening finger at him.

Louis frantically said, "tell me or...or I'll call the cops!"

The boy lifted his head and muttered something strange: 

_"What are they going to do? Lock up someone who isn't really there?"_

Louis lowered his hand, "what?"

Being half thinking and half aware, Louis was disarmed and gripped tightly by the curly haired boy.

A strangled scream escaped him and he kicked and shook to free himself.

The curly haired boy gripped him tighter and inched his face closer to Louis.

They were so close that from far away you'd think they were snogging.

 _"Listen to me carefully,"_  the boy spoke calmly though the situation was nothing calm of any sort.

Overpowered and weak, Louis reluctantly nodded.

_"When I let you go, do not run or scream for help. This will be over quick, I promise. I'm not going to hurt you... I just need you to listen."_

Louis barely heard the guy speaking over the loud, panicked voices and screams inside his head.

He was too busy trying to plan a quick escape and shocked over the situation.

Crazy theories drifted through his mind.

 _He's here to kidnap me... he's going to kill me_ , shrilled Louis' conscience.

The curly haired boy shook him, jolting Louis from his hectic mind.

His eyes pierced Louis that it actually hurt.

 _Wait_ , Louis thought suspiciously.

He stopped moving and looked closely at the eyes staring at him.

Those green eyes were familiar...

 _"Pay attention, Louis! One more time: don't do anything when I let you go. Don't please."_ said the guy, his voice pleading Louis.

"Okay."

Louis didn't feel like himself all of a sudden.

Cautiously, the hands gripping Louis' arms slid away from him and then nothing.

When a few testing moments passed without movement or sound from Louis, the guy sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

Louis was frozen, still lurking around in the discovery and familiarity of his eyes.

_"You wanted to know who I am and if we had met before. Correct?"_

The green eyes asked him and Louis nodded, remembering that he did.

The boy nodded to himself and went back to thinking whatever it is.

Another sigh came and he spoke again,  _"before I answer, I want you to see if you can figure it out. If you can answer your questions yourself, okay?"_

Louis frowned, confused at what he was being asked to do.

"But I don't remember..."

The guy shook his head and leaned down to his level.

His eyes now leveled with Louis' so that that was all he could see.

 _"Try to."_ he said with a soft hush at the end.

Louis, still confused, opened his mouth to protest but the guy best him to it.

He was in a rush from the looks of it.

Louis quietly and expectantly watched him fold his hands together in a nervous habit and shut his eyes.

During the time of Curly's moment of calm, Louis took that to properly get a good look at him.

All his features were familiar and his aura felt strong.

It was a hazy feeling like trying to remember a character's name from a movie that you watched years ago.

It was at the tip of your tongue; the back of your head, but not quite there yet.

 _"I want you to look into my eyes. Can you do that for me?"_  whispered the boy with a sharp intake of breath.

Louis nodded and flicked his eyes up from the boy's chin to his thin pink lips, his nose, and lastly, to his gleaming green eyes.

At first, there was nothing.

Nothing snapped inside Louis nor did something physical happen.

Louis frowned, about to break contact to speak.

_"No, keep looking. Think: where have I seen these eyes before?"_

"But what if I can't? Are you just playing around with me?"

_"This is serious! I'm serious, so listen to me and do as I say."_

With a doubtful heart Louis obliged and stared into the dark of the boy's eyes and forcibly tried to tug anything relevant from his memories.

"There's nothing." breathed Louis.

 _"Close your eyes for more concentration. your mind is controlling you; control your mind."_ instructed Harry, feeling himself loose hope at every failure.

This had to work.

Louis shut his eyes and squeezed himself to open his mind or whatever.

After a minute of nothing but the thought of this being stupid, Louis grew frustrated.

"Nothing!"

_"No there is. You just have to keep trying, keep believing."_

Harry tried to ease Louis' anger by reassurance and partial cooing.

It didn't work as he wished.

"You're fucking with me aren't you?" exasperated Louis.

This was stupid.

He's just some crack head messing with him. 

 _"No, no! Keep your eyes closed, please!"_ begged Harry, his soul twisting and crumbling.

Hope was all he had and it had to stay.

Louis had to stay.

Louis began to shake, literally, his body trembled as he tried to speak.

He couldn't find anything.

It was frustrating and maddening.

_"Think!"_

In the form of a scream, Louis said, "I don't remember,  _Haz_!"

A moment of absolute silence and caution clouded the air between them.

Louis' pants were all that physically made a sound.

His breaths slowed and the buzzing in his head died out.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, "Haz?"

The curly haired boy in front of him hesitantly nodded in acknowledgement.

Louis' breaths paced again.

"Haz?" he called again.

Another nod of approval.

"Haz!" Louis choked out.

Unable to control his emotions, Harry strained out,  _"yes, Lou?"_

Louis would've fallen face-first onto the concrete ground if it wasn't for Harry's quick reflexes.

In the arms of his long lost friend, lover, partner, Louis felt that it was okay to cry.

It was all okay.

 _"Oh, Lou... Lou... I missed this so much. I missed you."_  mumbled Harry through his sobs.

Louis hid his face in Harry's neck, taking everything in at once; all the missing memories that had left him disoriented and lost.

_"It hurt. All these years without you... Of course I stayed beside you but I couldn't - I couldn't do anything. Thought it was all for the better, you know?"_

Harry pulled away from Louis so that he could see his face.

_"I thought I was too late - and I, I tried everything but still... But then when I thought all was lost, you came back,"_

Harry held the boy's cheek, gently brushing his face while his eyes roamed every edge and detail of his face. 

Now Harry could see his face, knowing that louis can see him.

Harry whispered, _"you came back to me."_

Louis looked up at Harry the same innocent, endearing way he had the first time he saw him many years ago.

All he felt was wholeness.

Nothing was empty or lonely anymore.

"Forever and always, remember?" quoted Louis with a smile.

In response Harry tipped his head forward and brushed his lips against Louis'.

He paused to properly reply, taking a moment or two. 

Drinking up the reality in his arms, Harry laughed.

He really laughed; a true laugh.

 _"Forever and always."_  he sealed the promise once more.

With one last gaze, Harry closed up the remained space between them.

After an hour which consisted of snogging and confessions of love and catching up,  _LouisandHarry_ ,  _HarryandLouis_  left the park to return back to the bedroom where most of the events of them took place.

Louis Tomlinson's door was locked and the crack under door was sealed off with his dirty clothes for privacy.

Once Louis gave the thumbs-up sign that he was sure their privacy was protected, he was lured onto his bed where Harry fulfilled his old wants.

They kissed like it was their first.

They kissed like it was their last.

They kissed like it was their only.

They touched and spoke to each other of their truths and promises for it was all they truly had to give. 

It was no doubt that they would give all and none to each other.

They were each other's forever and always.

Forever and always. 


	18. 2008 PART ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be two parts to "2008," continous.

Both Louis and Harry knew this was the year when everything was to come out.

All the secrets and truth to be out in the open no matter how horrid it is.

No matter the cost of it.

The second Louis opened his eyes today at a quarter past six, he surprisingly found his special someone sitting at the end of his bed, waiting for him of course.

Seeing the boy so early in the day shocked Louis but made his heart swell.

He could see those bright green eyes in the light.

All this time he thought it wasn't possible but then again he really didn't quite know everything that is possible to, well, ghosts. 

Something he'll have to ask Harry.

Louis sighed at the mere thought of his lover.

He was so out of it, he had forgotten that the boy was right there in front of him, silently laughing at his cuteness.

_What are you thinking so happily about, Louis?_

A jolt, Louis focused on the curly haired boy who now sat beside him, holding his hand.

Louis could always feel Harry's light touch though it wasn't as real.

The feeling was like of touching thick fog.

Barely there but still, there.

Looking up from their intertwined hands, Louis smiled, "I can't believe you're here."

This abruptness caught Harry's mesmerized attention on their physical contact.

He puffed out a laugh, ending with a blooming smile.

_"I still can't believe I can touch you. It's like I'm alive again...like I'm not really dead anymore."_

Harry rambled on, talking more to himself.

As fascinating and amazing as all this was and felt, Louis couldn't help but to feel sad and concerned.

Every time Harry renounced how he was dead and a ghost, it made louis curious to why he was in the first place.

Why did he die?

Why did he stay?

Most of all, why did Harry choose him to love, converse, touch, and to have?

Twisting his fingers, Louis looked down at his lap.

"Haz?"

Harry stopped his mumbling and looked at Louis.

_"Yes, Lou?"_

Louis bit his lip, unsure whether it was okay to ask. 

Surely he was old enough and ready as Harry would always put it otherwise. 

Several years passed since he'd been asking and he's nearly seventeen.

He's of age, right?

And from the past hints of it, it seemed that Louis was somehow related to Harry's devastating end.

Louis had the right to know.

Blowing out a sigh, Louis looked up at the cream colored ceiling, thinking that it was safer to stare there instead of at Harry.

"Am I... Am I old enough now?" asked Louis, his voice hushed as if he was saying something bad.

Maybe he was.

Harry didn't speak for what seemed like all eternity for Louis.

He just sat there, staring at the white sheets covering the bed, without any emotion.

Just as Louis was about to change the subject, Harry answered.

 _"Yes, you are old enough," H_ arry admitted.

Louis always have been ready.

Harry was too afraid and selfish to let the boy know that.

_"But I am not sure if you are ready for the truth."_

This was true.

Harry was worried about the preparation part.

How was his Louis going to take everything in?

Would he even believe Harry?

Would Louis think he was lying just out of spite towards his mother?

One thing for sure that will be Louis' reaction is shock.

Pure, disbelieving shock.

"I am! I've been ready half my life, Haz. You know it too."

 _"I suppose I did a little..."_ muttered Harry, tearing away from the boy's expectant look.

He was still doubtful to tell but he knew he had to.

It was time.

"Are you going to tell me?" asked Louis, nervously for the ultimate truth of it all. 

It was nerve wracking and exciting in a way.

Finally his biggest question will be answered after all those long years of being kept in the dark.

Harry lifted his right palm, a gesture for Louis to place his hand in.

Louis obliged and again, that wispy feeling overcame him.

Definitely in a good way.

Tracing his fingers over the small bumps of louis' knuckles, Harry's eyes flickered to the deep blue staring at his actions.

Halting all motion, Harry lost his smile.

_"Before I do, try to ask your mother of the truth first. Ask of your father."_

Louis inched back, confused and startled by the turn of the conversation.

Why talk about his father?

"What does he have to do with your death?" stammered Louis, running a hand through his hair and he tried to piece it together in the puzzle of Harry.

Harry's voice constricted into a low grumble,  _"mostly everything."_

Louis' opened his mouth to ask more questions but a hand was raised to cut him off.

The light green of Harry's eyes glinted with something darker and shaky.

 _"Just do as I say. Trust me, Louis. Answers will come but I can't promise that it won't affect you negatively,"_ ensured Harry.

Reluctantly nodding, Louis mumbled an 'okay' before Harry pushed him back onto the soft pillow propped up behind him.

In an instant, Louis had forgotten everything that happened and was said moments earlier as he breathlessly stared upon the lips that hovered inches away.

He met Harry's eyes, his breaths elevating with each passing second.

How great it was.

Everything.

Nothing else mattered anymore and they could be.

They  _actually_  could.

"Harry." whispered Louis, sliding his hands up to his face from his chest. 

Harry smiled with a little nudge against the small hand holding his cheek.

_"I prefer it you call me Haz... 's more cute."_

Louis nodded, having trouble thinking of a witty remark.

He fingers tiptoed to the edge of Harry's hairline by his ears, teasing a curl out from the rest.

Rubbing the strands in an adoring fascination, Louis looked back at the watchful green eyes.

"Haz," 

Louis glanced at his clock beside him, having now noticing his present situation. 

"School's in ten."

Harry tipped his head down, catching the bottom lip of Louis.

He sighed out in agony, releasing Louis.

 _"See you in eight hours."_ promised Harry, leaving a lingering brush of his thumb against Louis' lips before vanishing on top of him.

Before Louis felt the longing for Harry and the urge to call him again, a knock came from his door.

"Louis, are you ready for school?" said a voice that sounded way deeper and thicker than his mother's.

It took a moment for Louis to completely snap out of the phase in which included Harry and Harry  _and Harry_.

Scrambling out of the covers, Louis dug through his drawers, pulling out whatever clothes he grasped on.

The door knob jiggled for it was locked.

"Lou? Are you there?"

"Give me a few minutes, Niall! Tell Bobby I'll be down quick!" Louis shouted out.

After hearing snickering from the other side of the door (and a few jokes), footsteps trailed away, leaving, once again, Louis alone.

He paused midway, having his shirt to be caught right under his arms.

_Ask about your father..._

Never had Louis thought that his long gone father took a part in Harry's past.

His father?

His father whom he had never met or seen before?

The man whom Jay feared and never spoke of?

What role did he play in Harry's tragedy?

All these questions repeated it's baffling entirety as Louis sat eating breakfast and passing time during his classes at school.

With the addition of daydreaming of Harry (of course).

While Louis burned away seven long, tiring hours at high school, his dear spent his excruciating hours waiting and waiting.

The long hand flicked to the right, hitting the hour twelve in the afternoon.

The past six hours Harry did nothing but look around Louis' room in more detail though he had done this many, many times before.

It was interesting, Louis' room.

Louis didn't yet fully understand that Harry remained around him on the rest of the 364 days and only tangible on one day so he thought that he had complete privacy.

He thought that whatever he did in secret was a secret.

He didn't think about that Harry might've been right beside him, watching him do things that he wanted to keep to himself.

Harry smiled to himself, remembering the time when Louis was eight and he had hidden a kitten in his closet from his strict mother.

Unfortunately for Louis, the cat had managed to escape it's prison and was found by Jay later that day.

Louis was scolded and taught that animals need proper care and feeding and ground area for its health. 

Louis was upset for the next few weeks, refusing to do anything his mother requests and mainly pouting with his arms crossed.

Looking back at old memories made Harry smile.

Despite his ghostly form and rulings, Harry was quite happy to see Louis everyday growing and smiling and living each passing moment.

And that's just what needs to be.

Louis needs to live the present and for the future.

The only thing blocking his path is Harry. 

Plus, Harry shouldn't even be interacting with the living so personally and so deeply.

Especially, he shouldn't have fallen in love with someone.

Everything was fucked.

But Harry didn't care anymore.

He rather be fucked over this than to not.

Frankly, Louis was the best thing that ever happened to him and Harry wouldn't change a single thing.

"How are my two sons doing today? School went fine?" a voice greeted from afar.

"Great."

The door slammed shut.

Footsteps came closer.

"Absolutely tiring," A third voice sighed.

Harry smiled in an instant upon hearing a voice among a few others.

The voice that only he had come to yearn for the most.

 _His_  voice.

Still invisible, Harry walked out of Louis' room and to the living room where the voices were.

Louis sat on the couch, his backpack flung across the other side of the room somehow.

Niall was in the middle of setting his backpack down neatly.

Harry saw the teasing remark from Louis and smiled.

Though Louis was being an arse, he was cute as he did.

Discreetly, Niall flipped his step-brother off.

Harry knew it was a joke but still felt a twinge of displeasure at the action.

"Hungry?" asked Jay, oblivious to her two sons mouthing playful insults to each other.

Disbelieving laughter came from Louis.

He crossed his legs, "mum we just had lunch an hour ago."

Jay nodded and pointed a threatening finger at louis' backpack on the floor.

Grumbling, Louis picked it up and placed it on the couch next to Niall's. 

"Well, I know how Niall's appetite is. Which I adore, mind you."

Still playing their little jealousy game, Niall wiggled an eyebrow at Louis.

"Don't be such a killjoy, Lou! And yes, we'd love to have a snack,  _mum_." Niall emphasized on the parental title, making Louis' jaw drop.

He shifted, uncrossing his legs.

"She's my mum first, Niall."

Niall stuck out a tongue, "but I'm her favorite."

Jay chuckled and waved a hand to dismiss the little dispute that was close to getting to the danger zone.

"I made brownies earlier, but wash up first." she ordered and stalked off into the kitchen.

Niall shouldered his bag, "hey, Lou?"

Louis looked up.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to Zayn's party later? Or are you going to ditch and go drinking with Sandy and them like last year?"

Louis shook his head, "I think I'll pass this year. I have loads and loads of homework."

Even to Harry, Louis' excuse seemed too much.

Niall nodded, not giving much thought, and disappeared into the hallway, a thud of a door closing following after.

Louis sighed and went to his room after eyeing his mother in the kitchen.

Harry knew what he was thinking.

Louis was trying to plan how to ask Jay. 

At this thought, Harry felt anxious.

He was finally going to know why.

_Louis._

Louis stopped walking and turned to his left.

A smiling Harry appeared beside him.

"Haz," he breathed out.

Footsteps neared the closed door of Niall's room and Louis grabbed Harry's hand, dragging him inside his room.

Harry laughed once they were safely away from other eyes.

It's was cute how he sometimes forgets that Harry could disappear at will.

It was also cute how Louis does whatever he can to keep Harry safe.

"I've been thinking about it all day." said Louis, dropping his heavy backpack onto his chair.

Harry's small moment of joy disappeared.

 _"Right."_  

He cleared his throat, getting down to business.

Louis sighed out as he plopped onto his bed.

"I'm going to ask when Niall is at Zayn's and before Bobby comes home. It's better if - whatever mum has to say - they didn't know."

Harry stared off in space.

He didn't know what to do or think, really.

All he wanted was the truth but now that he was about to get it, he became anxious.

"Haz. Are you alright?"

A hand wrapped around Harry's.

 _"Yes, I-I am fine."_  Harry ensured though it was obvious Louis didn't believe him.

But Louis nodded and retracted his hand.

To be honest himself, Louis was terrified of what his mother did to Harry.

Had she killed him?

And the thing about his father as well.

What the hell did he do and why wasn't he here?

Many theories and questions developed inside Louis' mind, all equally terrifying to believe. 

On top of that, the emotionless look on Harry's face feared him even more.

He looked so lost and Harry never looked like that before.

His death was horrible and Louis didn't want to know what happened anymore.

"Why...why can't  _you_  tell me?"

Louis expected another riddled answer but he didn't get one.

_"Because I don't know why it happened. I only know how and what happened."_

Harry's voice was cold and bitter.

Well, he felt cold and bitter.

Just like he did during the first few years after he had died.

Alone and broken.

"But my mum knows?"

Harry looked away,  _"she's the one who did it."_

Louis' heart sunk to his feet.

He couldn't breathe.

"Sh-she killed...you?" gasped Louis.

_No way._

Harry nodded slowly, eyes still avert.

"B-But -"

 _"It's complicated. But she was a big part of my death. I just - I need to know why, Louis."_  pleaded Harry.

Louis opened his mouth to speak but having being too shocked, nothing came out.

His mum...his softie, warm mum...

She couldn't have?

"Haz, I -"

_"No, Louis. Save it for your mum."_

Harry's eyes begged Louis to drop the subject and so he did.

He could see the pain in his features and he remembered the oath he made to himself when he was younger.

He would stop Harry's pain even for just a moment.

Louis forced a smile, quickly changing the mood.

"Wanna help me with my pre-calc homework?"

Louis stood up and began unzipping his backpack.

He looked back to see Harry's relaxed body.

Relieved body.

 _"I rather we finish what we started earlier today..."_ suggested Harry with a coy smile.

Louis sighed out of relief. 

He kept to his oath, successfully.

Though his mind exploded with the new information of his mother's doing in the past, Louis managed to push it to the back of his head and fully enjoy his time with Harry with the guilt and apologetic feelings weighing him down.

Being with Harry slowed down the time around them while the rest of the world sped up.

Nearly four hours had passed without notice from the two overly-attached boys, laying side-to-side on top of the white sheets.

As the fifth hour rolled in, Louis safely asked questions of Harry's life, skipping around the topic of his death.

Surprisingly, Harry answered most of them sometimes with a hazy look in his eyes.

He had an older sister named Gemma, a mother called Anne, and a father Dez, whom he didn't live with nor saw often.

Other than questions about his family, Louis asked of his hobbies and past time activities.

Harry stated that he was deeply into cats and juggling.

He liked to write especially poems and stories.

Louis might've laughed at some of Harry's honest answers of himself but it was harmless.

"You watched the stars?" Louis asked, fascinated and surprised.

Harry didn't come off as a star gazer.

_"Yes. I loved the way they shine and light up the indigo sky."_

There was that far away haze concealing his eyes.

To Louis, Harry looked beautiful with that dreamy look on his face.

He had dreams for himself in the future, Louis thought in wonder.

In that observation, something in Louis snapped, shattering a piece inside of him. 

_But y parents took away Harry's dreams._

_"No."_

Louis turned to Harry who was looking at him seriously.

Louis had spoken his thoughts out loud.

_"It wasn't going to work out anyway. I wanted to go to college, get the degree I needed for my dream job, and then become a-a...it's not important. But all your parents did was to end me."_

Hearing how Harry spoke these things, all forced and pained, made Louis feel even more guilty.

After all, it was his parents who somehow took a part in ending his lover's life.

How fucked up was this all?

A hand covered Louis', bringing him to look up.

 _"Lou? It's not your fault either. You had nothing to do with any of it."_  said Harry with a desperate look. 

Louis shook his head, his eyes burning.

His breath rattled as he exhaled, trying to speak.

"Feels like it." Louis said, miserably, though he knew that it wasn't.

He wasn't even born then.

"What year?" Louis asked, hesitating with caution.

The question was random but somehow Harry understood it.

_"Nineteen ninety-one."_

Louis felt himself shrink.

He wanted to disappear.

All these details, the information of Harry's death, was a blow.

The sting of a metal whip.

Louis thought that when his questions of Harry is finally answered, it would be relieving or something less painful than what he was feeling right now.

_"Your mother was a few weeks pregnant when it happened. I calculated."_

When Louis didn't say anything, Harry pulled him in an embrace.

He dreaded for this reaction: quiet shock.

 _"Lou?"_  called Harry, gently brushing away his fringe that was slowly covering up his eyes.

Harry just needed to see his eyes for reassurance.

He too was slowly falling apart. 

Louis was looking up at Harry but he actually wasn't.

He couldn't face Harry due to his shame that his parents inflicted upon him.

Louis sniffed, "do you know what happened to my father? Where he is?"

When Harry didn't reply at once, louis got his answer.

He chuckled sadly, tearing away from Harry's sorrowful eyes.

_"I wanted you to hear it from your mother. It's only right."_

Harry was speaking as slow and softly as he could, not wanting to hurt Louis any further though that was impossible.

Louis was already at the very edge of pain. 

The bad thing was that he was keeping most of it in.

Harry rather have him scream, yell, or cry.

It'll be healthier, better. 

 _"Louis. It's time."_ Harry whispered, hearing faint voices from out the door.

Niall was leaving the house.

At this Louis was alert and he looked at the clock.

It was almost nine.

Louis jumped from the bed and opened the door, sticking his head out.

Niall and his mum were at the front door talking.

Probably cautions and orders to not be out late or do stupid things.

After seeing Niall leave and his mother sit on the couch, Louis then closed his door.

He faced Harry, absolutely clueless on what to do now.

"I - What do I do?"

Harry was blank and thoughtful again.

"Do I just go and ask?"

_"Get her attention first. Ease your way onto the topic of your father and then, go on from there."_

Louis nodded rapidly but still felt lost.

He was scared as well.

Scared of her confessions and truth.

He was mainly scared that whatever came out from his mother's mouth, it would destroy the bond between him and Harry.

That was what Louis truly feared.

"Do you... Do you want to be there, like, visible?" asked Louis.

Harry lifted his head, thinking hard about whether to show himself or not to the woman whom he despised so, so much.

He did but at the same time didn't.

He wanted Jay to look upon his face again and to feel pain - to feel the same as Harry did on that cold road.

But he didn't want to.

Not since Louis was going to be there.

No, Harry didn't want to push Louis' heart to the breaking point.

He wasn't that cruel.

_"No. I'll stay hidden beside you."_

Louis nodded, "Okay. Okay, thank you."

He was so nervous.

Harry stood up from the bed and went to Louis who was shaking by the door.

He held Louis' face, bringing to face him directly.

 _"Whatever happens I won't leave you. Nothing will happen to us because this isn't about you and I."_  Harry said, waiting.

Louis nodded and closed his eyes, waiting as well.

He needed courage and strength.

_"I love you, Louis."_

"I love you, Haz."

To those words, Harry closed his eyes and closed up the space between him and Louis.

Their lips met and their hands roamed around their faces, never leaving each other.

They could've stayed like that forever but Louis' conscience and adrenaline pumped him back.

He pulled away first, the hazy sensation lingering on his lips.

Louis had ahold on the doorknob, twisting it open.

"Stay with me." Louis whispered and walked out when Harry vanished.

The walk towards his mother seemed like forever as his heart pulsed in his ears and his mind went blank.

Louis' confidence grew thin as his mother's figure was closer and closer.

He thought about turning away and running back to his room but a voice in his head spoke his name.

Not his conscience but Harry.

_It's okay, Lou, you're doing good._

Louis doubted that but was grateful for Harry's ego boost.

His mum was right in front of him now.

_Do what you have to do._

"Mum?"

She turned around with a surprised look, "Louis? Do you need anything?"

Louis shook his head and inhaled.

_I trust you, Louis._

"Mum. I need to talk to you."

Jay's smile faded and she turned off the tv and patted a seat beside her.

She had no idea what was going to happen.

"What's wrong? Did something happen at school? Did you do something?" Jay asked at once as he sat down.

Louis shook his head and looked down at his fingers.

_Don't be afraid._

_There's nothing to be scared of._

_I love you, Louis._

Louis gulped, "what really happened to my father?"

Jay paled and her body went rigid.

What was this talk again?

She turned away from her son.

"I told you: he left. He abandoned us, Louis. Don't make this harder on yourself."

Her tone was icy and steel.

"No. You're lying. Mum, I need to know what really happened."

Jay still looked away from Louis.

"I'm telling the truth. Your father ran away. Let's stop with this now, okay?"

"Not okay,"

She blanched at his defiance.

"If you're telling the truth then look me in the eye and say it."

Jay turned to him, her chest heaving with guilt.

She couldn't contain herself.

What more was she couldn't do as Louis asked.

All the thoughts and sounds from the incident pierced her mind, making her gasp and cry.

Louis gripped her arm, "mum. Tell the truth of what really happened."

Jay shook her head, her sobbing increasing.

"I can't."

"Why not? I won't judge. I just need to know for  _him_." begged Louis.

Jay sniffed and her puffy eyes fell on Louis.

"F-For who?"

She was trembling now.

She knew who Louis was talking about.

The boy she'd done wrong.

"Harry. The boy on that night years ago."

Jay choked on her tears and waves of panic flooded her.

It was while before she spoke again.

She knew she had to face the horror of her shadows one day, but she was no where near prepared for the confrontation.

"Is he here? Has he been always here?" she asked, frantically looking around the room in search for the boy.

Louis nodded, his heart tugging.

He hated to see his mother this way.

Defeated and helpless against her past.

But Louis had to keep pressing on.

He needed answers. 

"Always because he didn't know why. Why, why, why you did what you did. What did you do, mum?"

"Don't bl-blame me! Your - your father was a cruel drunk. You must understand that. And he hurt me, Louis. He hurt me real badly." 

Jay sounded so small and distant.

She was reliving parts of her past in her mind.

Louis wanted to stop this but his curiosity was too much.

"He hit you? He's an alcoholic?" 

Louis was baffled and angry towards his father's abuse to his mother but was mostly confused.

What did that have to do with killing Harry?

Jay hid her face, "we were in the car that night. I picked your father up from the station; he had started a fight in his mad drunken state.

"He was angry and I tried to calm him down. he hit...me...while I was driving. Threw insults and he tried to -"

Jay broke off, a sob closing off her speech.

Louis held his mother's hand as courage.

She needed to face it again.

She smiled faintly at the small act from her son and took a deep breath, calming herself down enough to talk again.

"He knew what state I was in that time."

Louis searched his mother's face, "knew what?"

Jay sighed and her eyes swelled with tears.

"That I was with a child. You, and he  _knew,_ but he deliberately tried to hurt you. He looked at me with those wild eyes and punched me right where you were. He was evil. And I knew how much he was right then.  
  


"He kept trying though and I fought back. He was stronger and faster and he managed to hit a few times."

Jay paused, hiccuping and coughing.

Louis was too shocked to move or to help his mother.

He felt like nothing.

Jay pinched her eyes shut, the pain was now unbearable.

"I was trapped, Louis. He was going to kill you and it'll be all my fault. If you'd die that meant that I hadn't kept you safe just as I promised when I first discovered that you were made. With that guilt, I wouldn't have survived. I'd've gone insane. But then If you had somehow managed to live and be born later on, you would've had to deal with your father and it wouldn't be long until he moved on to you. I couldn't let that happen.  _I just couldn't._

"So in those moments I made a decision. Up ahead I saw a mass of shadow. It was foggy and dark out you see. Your father was hitting me relentlessly, scaring me deeply. I only had the thought of saving you from your terrible future. The mass was coming close and I put all my weight on the gas pedal. The car sped ahead right at the shadow... it happened all at once and it ended  _all_  at once."

Jay was breathing heavily with her eyes begging for empathy.

She squeezed Louis' hand.

"I thought it was a pole of some sort. I really did. If I knew it was him then I wouldn't have... I wouldn't." she reasoned.

Louis' throat was dry as he said, "I know."

Jay let go of his hand and shut her eyes.

"The car hit the mass and it went off course since I let go of the wheel. It hit the light post hard and the window shattered as your father fl-fl...flew out. I was banged up but not as badly only a few cuts on my leg. I was conscious and could move. Slowly, I managed to get out of the car and see the...damage.

"The car was steaming and a mess. I limped around and found your father a few feet away from the car's front. He was still alive but barely... U-I had terrible, terrible thoughts... I wanted...I wanted him  _dead_. And he was on the brink of it. I hated your father so much and to think he aimed to hurt you snapped me awake...

"I turned away and that's when I saw what I really hit. A-A boy - not much older than you are right now - was on the ground, bleeding heavily from his head. He was conscious too, but he seemed to not be able to move. I-I wanted to help! I wanted to but calling for help meant that it'll be given to your father too. I didn't want that, Louis. I didn't want your father alive while you were. You were going to be miserable and scared just as I was. What all mothers want for their kids is to be happy and well. I wanted the same for you so I-I fled. I grabbed what belonged to me from the car and I ran away from the scene... I passed your father without so much of a glance but when I passed that boy...  _he was speaking to me._

"He was pleading for help. He was begging me. I looked at him in the eye, Louis. I saw the light and hope in his eyes that I would save him, but I only thought of you and ran off."

Jay opened her eyes, waiting for something, anything.

She didn't dare look at Louis.

What did he think of her now?

"I had heard him cry for help, looked at him and yet I ignored him for my selfish purpose. I could still hear him to this day... I could've saved him. But-but I didn't and left.  _What kind of person does that?_  I should be locked up. I should've turned myself in long ago but I had you and I slowly forgot. I forgot of that horrible thing I've done...  _I'm a monster_."

Jay quieted and blankly looked at Louis.

She couldn't will herself to cry anymore.

She had no right to cry.

No right to apologize.

She wouldn't have had this if she had saved the boy.

Why didn't she?

Louis' father had no chance whether or not help came, Jay knew that but the boy could've made it.

But what stopped her?

Punishment. 

Jay focused on Louis and for his reaction but there was none.

He was as blank as she had been.

She expected screams of loathing and disbelief from him but the silence.

The silence killed her.

"Louis?" she called, her voice shaky and barely audible.

Louis didn't seem to hear her for he was completely out of it.

Jay felt herself slipping, "Louis, honey? Please talk to me?"

She was tugging her son's arm, hoping that it'll bring him out of his thoughts.

She needed to hear his voice or she'd loose it.

"Lou -"

Her hand slipped as Louis abruptly got up from the couch.

He swallowed and dragged his hand down his face.

Jay sat up, her eyes stinging.

But of course...

"Louis?" she begged.

He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"I-I...I need some air - excuse me."

And Jay didn't have it in her to chase or call after her son as he ran out the door.

Instead, she brought her legs to her chest, pouring her guilt and past out.

But the pain hurt less now that she officially faced it, told it out in the open.

She had confessed and repented of her sins.

Now what was left was the wait for the outcome: the broken bond between her and her son.

A few feet away stood a boy, his mind empty and heart numb.

He watched as the woman that left him to die shrivel up, wanting to disappear.

Once before, he wanted nothing more than of her suffering and tears.

He wanted her to feel the same agony of abandonment and loneliness and slow death but now all those thoughts weren't there.

Now he wanted to relieve her of the upcoming pain.

Now he knew at what cost she did what she did - what  _purpose_  she had.

Now he understood that she suffered as much as he.

His suffering ended as she confessed of her wrongdoings.

Now it was her turn to receive the end of her suffering.

For the first time ever, the boy walked to the woman on the couch.

He hesitantly reached out for her. 

His anger and bitterness towards her didn't vanish completely but the sympathy for her was stronger.

His sympathetic feelings for her fueled him to go along with his decision.

A push from himself, the boy gripped her shoulder lightly.

The woman flinched and gasped out at the unknown source of touch.

The boy didn't touch her again but spoke out into her mind.

_I don't forgive you, Jay, but I do understand why you did it._

_I thank you for your truth and confession._

The woman screamed but stopped to try again as she understood who this voice belonged to.

She stuttered out, "y-you're Harry?"

_Yes._

She gasped and began mumbling out apologies and explanations.

She was frantic and in pain.

The boy believed her sincerity.

"But will Louis?" she asked.

_Don't worry about Louis._

_He'll eventually understand and come round._

Jay shook her head, unpersuaded.

How could he?

He wouldn't understand...

Hell, even Jay didn't understand why.

The boy saw the uncertainty and self-doubt in the woman's eyes.

He put as much sincerity in his voice:

_He still loves you and he always will._

The woman held in her breath and hoped that it was true.

She would die if she'd lost Louis forever.

She would.

Somewhere between this thought, something in Jay's mind clicked.

The final puzzle piece was found.

She sat up, "that night in the room when I first saw you again... Were you - were you planning to take him away? Was that my price?"

The boy didn't respond but jay didn't give up just yet.

Now it was her turn for answers.

"Why didn't you take him away yet? What changed? Did you..."

Jay's heart slowed and so did everything else around her.

The moment of truth.

"Did you love my son?"

The boy didn't have to reply for they both knew the answer to that question.

_Do, not did._

Jay stifled a croak, "then... then is there still a price to be paid?"

This time the boy didn't hesitate to answer.

_Everything always comes with a price, Jay._

_It just depends on the person who's giving it._

And that was the end of it.

Jay stopped asking questions and the boy quieted from her once more and for forever.

Now the last portion of suffering for Jay was waiting for the name of that price.


	19. 2008 PART TWO

The sky had turned three shades darker since Louis last looked up from his room.

Time flew by and what Louis wanted more was it to slow down.

He couldn't keep up. 

Now more than ever.

It's been maybe thirty minutes since Louis had been running far away as possible from his house and everything else with it.

He needed time and space to think freely and to sort out things as best as he could.

All the new information closed in on him in one little enclosed box which he was stuck in.

In other words, it was simply too, too much.

How twisted was his and Harry's fate?

Out of all the things, Louis' mum was the one responsible for the death of person he loves so, so much. 

What is he supposed to do now?

Louis wiped his eyes and sat down on the curb.

He looked around when he felt just okay enough to think about something else...something other than that. 

He had run to the more quiet part of the neighborhood.

There were less people walking around in their costumes.

Louis was mostly alone but he knew he wouldn't be soon.

It was foolish of him to think for a moment that he'll never be found; he will always be found no matter how far he runs or how good he hid.

Always found by him.

The thought of him brought back the numbing pain again and Louis was back on that couch, facing his mother as she confessed.

The pain intensified and iced his insides.

Louis squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to clog his thoughts.

He wanted out.

He wanted to go back and take back of asking  _whywhywhy_.

Louis wanted to go back to kissing him on his bed while looking into those fiery eyes that were more alive than even those of the living.

He needed to feel those happy sparks again instead of the suffocating pain clawing him raw from his chest.

He needed him and now he wasn't sure if he did the same anymore.

Did his mother's confession change everything?

Did it change them? 

The question ended Louis and he screamed, his sob strangled and caught in his throat.

He'd never felt so much pain before. 

As the scenes shifted and replayed in his head so did Louis' cries and sobs.

He stayed like that: collapsed on the ground with his face covered and his body writhing in pain and distress.

Louis went on pouring his heart out for nearly an hour until he didn't have anything left inside him to resume.

He slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked around, completely dazed.

How long had he'd been at it?

The sky was a whole shade darker and the stars glittered more noticeably.

The sun had already set, meaning dawn was near.

The day was almost over.

The surge of urgency from that thought helped Louis to his feet and filled his veins with adrenaline.

He turned around and ran back to the direction to where he came from.

The wind slammed against him and Louis still felt weak but he pushed forward, running like hell was following him.

In the distance Louis could see the familiar houses fly by and people, loads of people appeared all around him.

He was in his neighborhood but Louis didn't stop yet; he ran even faster.

He twirled and snapped all around him in search for him - Harry.

Louis was out of breath and he felt lightheaded but he couldn't pass out.

Not at a crucial time like now.

Time, Louis thought bitterly, if only it was so merciful to slow down.

Louis was about to start shouting out for him or stand on cars to get a better view of the area to spot and search but then someone had ahold of him.

The wispy feeling returned at last.

A choked gasp and a turn seemed to happen so slow and fluid-like.

Time was being merciful.

It was so dark but Louis could see clearly.

He could see the dark outlined mass standing in front of him, the eyes, nose, and lips.

In that moment as Louis and Harry stared at each other, lost in one another, and their body's drawing close, it felt magnetic and true.

They attracted only to each other and belonged to each other.

That thought only mattered to Louis as he was pulled tightly forward and his lips were touching Harry's.

His thoughts and reality melted away as himself did through the kiss.

Hands roamed his face and only his face in a such delicate manner as if it was something to be cherished and well-taken care of.

Louis dismissed his chest tightening for air for he didn't want to ever stop.

His hands were lost in the frenzy of Harry's hair and skin.

When would their end come?

When would their last come?

Harry could feel - really feel - Louis' hot touch and heat all over him.

It might've been the trick of his mind or simply the craziness of their heated actions but he didn't care.

He could feel Louis _on him_.

Soon Harry began to notice Louis' tenseness and realized they were kissing for too long.

He'd forgotten he was the only one between them that was dead.

Another reminder of how different they both were. 

Harry pulled away, his eyes already opened to see Louis.

Louis had his eyes opened as well with the same purpose.

His chest heaved and his body pulsed as his normalcy gradually returned.

They stood like that in the middle of the street.

Eyes and hearts connected as one.

It was Harry who spoke first, remembering who they were and why they became.

He had to bring them back to the present; he couldn't keep running forever.

_"Baby we need to talk."_

Louis heard him loud and clear but he chose not to reply or give any emotion.

He didn't want to go back just yet.

He needed time but mercy can be given for only so much.

Harry reached up, touching Louis' face.

_"Right now."_

He didn't want to push Louis even further but sadly their time was limited together just like it's always been.

Another reminder of how different they both were.

"O-Okay." said Louis, his voice distant and hoarse.

Harry shut his eyes at how defeated and broken he sounded.

Why did it have to inevitably end like this?

Hesitantly, Harry held Louis by his hand and dragged him to the very heart of the park.

At least they could have this last memorable moment alone and to themselves. 

An oddly strong wind swept their hair to the left but they managed to hold their ground.

There was a suffocating silence between the two boys.

Both deeply lost in thought.

Harry looked at Louis, devastated to see him so pained.

He knew that this would happen since the moment he knew he had fallen for this boy.

But still, he felt the crushing pain in his heart.

 _"Say something."_  said Harry, after minutes of debating to speak. 

Another moment of silence.

Harry was growing sick and tired of the quietness.

He needed to hear something to know that Louis was still there and alive.

Harry gulped, _"Lou, please?"_

His eyes met Louis', but Louis shut his eyes.

He couldn't look at him anymore without feeling so horrible.

Louis raised his hands to his face, in a rush of emotions.

The wave crashed so hard and now it was taking him with it.

From afar, Louis could hear the gravel scrape against each other as it was being stepped on.

Harry was walking closer to him.

Louis opened his eyes but looked past Harry.

_"L-Louis?"_

Louis sucked in a sharp breath, chest tight.

He'll have to talk anyway.

He knew that  _so_  well.

Harry was absolutely loosing it; the silence killing him.

He stumbled forward, almost screaming out when Louis took a step back.

Louis' hands were covering his face again and he could hear the devastation in Harry at this.

Their little world of them, a crumbling mess. 

_"Louis please! Speak? For me?"_

There was no stopping the fear. 

He blurted out, "I-I don't know what to say..."

He removed his hands and looked up at the boy whom his mother done wrong.

Done so, so wrong.

"I'm so sorry," Louis' voice strained.

What could he do?

Harry shook his head,  _"there is no need for that."_

Louis' eyes dropped to the floor in shame and bafflement.

He didn't understand how calm Harry was after hearing his mother's confession.

Why was he even here with his murderer's son?

He heard shallow footsteps in front of him and then a hand pressed against his cheek.

_"It's not your fault, dear. It never was."_

And then the tide came.

All of Louis theories and thoughts connected.

"So was it that? The reason you ever came to me?"

Harry's hand slipped but remained on the wet cheek.

_"What -"_

Louis' eyes flickered to the green set on him.

How dark did those bright eyes turn when it was full of hate?

Did they ever looked at him like that?

He sniffed, "I was the revenge back against my mother."

Shaking with deep remorse, Harry shook his head, not wanting to hear those words come from Louis.

It hurt so much already hearing thy from himself, but from Louis it was worse than death; Harry knew how that felt. 

"I was just a pawn in your sinister game, wasn't I?" Louis' voice was so small and scared.

Harry couldn't move.

It was true but not anymore.

_"Was; just that. You were before I saw your eyes and all the beauty shone through them."_

Louis shut his eyes, "but I once was."

Knives stabbed Harry everywhere.

"I was."

Another strike.

_"You can't blame me..."_

A sigh, just a sigh just emitted from Louis.

The sound of it pierced Harry.

So ancient and filled with disbelieving hurt.

The agony of true pain.

_"I fell in love with you. And...and that changed everything, my heart and evil entirely."_

Louis' eyes opened, alert and believing.

Harry kept going, telling and confessing.

_"I knew it was wrong and we couldn't be with all this bad history linking us as enemies,"_

Harry couldn't cry anymore but he knew if he was alive, that was what he would be doing right now.

_"I trusted though, that we could work."_

A cold breeze passed them, causing Louis to shiver, but the wind wasn't the only reason why he did.

"Well, then, did we?" asked Louis with a dreading tone.

Harry didn't look away.

He kept those sad blue eyes trained on him.

It hurt like hell but worth it if it meant seeing - truly seeing - Louis.

And this might be the last time seeing the pair.

Who knows?

Another sharp intake of breath,  _"I'd like to think we did."_

Louis' head dropped to the floor.

Harry's fingers twitched to touch him; to bring him to look at him.

But he didn't.

Harry knew better, knew what this meant.

 _"Do you?"_  asked Harry.

Three seconds passed before Louis moved or breathed.

He was thinking hard - whatever it was.

And Harry wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

Louis sucked in a breath, aware of the pained look from Harry in the corner of his eye. 

His head held up high, Louis showed a bit of his smile.

"We did. Until now, but we still can make this work."

Harry chuckled darkly, trailing off in thought.

Oh how naive Louis was.

Thought he was smarter and stronger than that.

Louis gripped Harry's arm, "we can."

Harry looked down at the fingers wrapped around his forearm, feeling hollow.

 _"Not like this we can,"_ Harry hushed.

The hand slipped away from him, leaving him to feel the fading warmth of it.

The feeling was similar to when Harry had to part with Louis every halloween.

Distant loneliness.

"There's one way. We both know it, don't we Haz?"

Louis' eyes searched for Harry but came up failed.

Instead, the green eyes was concealed by eyelids.

 _"No. No no no! That's not the right way."_ exasperated Harry, covering his face.

"But it's the only way! The only thing that can keep us together." argued Louis.

Harry spluttered nonsense until his voice eventually faded for he had nothing to say.

He hated to admit but what Louis was saying was true, but Harry couldn't let Louis go down that scary path even if it was the only way.

It wasn't made to be - they weren't made to be - it was that simple.

They have to accept it.

 _"No. This is my fate though I didn't choose it. Nothing happens according to your plans, Lou."_  reasoned Harry.

He was desperate to change Louis' set heart.

He couldn't let him.

No freaking way.

_"You can't choose your fate yourself. That's not how it should work."_

Louis was absolutely mad and Harry knew that he would do it.

He knew how risking Louis is, for him.

"I don't care, Haz! I want it to work my way so I'll make it work."

Harry shook his head frantically trying to persuade his beautiful boy otherwise.

_No no no no no._

Louis half-yelled, "but Haz!"

Harry's lips pinched together and his heart felt like acid.

He raised a hand, telling Louis to stop.

 _"Darling, don't make this hard."_ begged Harry.

Louis shook his head, eyes flooded with tears.

"I have to..."

Why couldn't Harry understand that what he was saying for them?

All for him?

"I don't want to see you only once a year. I want to see you, hear you, feel you, everyday and every time I can. I want you  _completely_."

Louis was trying so hard, so damn fucking hard.

Harry just needed to be given hope.

"You complete me so I need you to stay or else I won't be."

Harry couldn't believe this.

He couldn't believe the ending to their tragic story.

He has to change the resolution.

He had to.

_"You already have me completely. Right there inside you."_

Harry place his hand right over where Louis' beating - feeling - heart was.

He just needed reminding, that's all.

"Harry," Louis began.

Harry still didn't get it, did he?

Wherever and whatever happens to Harry does the very same to him.

If he goes, Louis follows right after. 

"I -"

Harry patted Louis again, focusing him onto his heart.

 _"I'm with you. I belong to you now so we'll always be together."_  explained Harry.

Louis resistance seemed to fade with this.

He was beginning to see.

"So do I." added Louis.

Harry smiled as best as he could.

 _"I know you do."_  he said and everything went still.

Harry couldn't really have Louis not legitimately but he still has a piece of him.

Deep in his heart he knew that Louis occupied a place in him.

Wherever he was, Louis was with him as well.

Same goes for Louis.

Forever and always is the promise, isn't it?

The pure faith and words that held onto that promise above all.

Harry was the forever and Louis, the always.

Things haven't changed; it was always different. 

Harry and Louis were different but that's how they worked though it was wrong.

Harry closed his eyes, having all this as unbearable and much too painful. 

When he opened his eyes, his confidence and structure melted away, leaving a pitiful, weak form of himself.

The part of him that always be when he was with and seeing Louis.

How could he go through with his decision when he couldn't contain himself around him?

How would he be far away from Louis?

Harry looked at Louis and held his chin up, longingly looking at his lips and to his eyes.

This was the fated ending.

Harry's voice rattled, _"Louis, be good. Be safe okay?"_

He looked away once looking at the confused and crestfallen expression on his boy's face. 

Louis fumbled for words, not sure what Harry was talking about.

He was always good and safe whenever with Harry.

Didn't Harry know that?

"What do you mean?" asked Louis, taking a step forward.

He had a hint but he didn't want to give a second thought to it.

_No._

Harry raised a hand to halt Louis.

if he took another step closer, Harry just might betray himself.

_"The only thing that kept me here for all these years was the hidden truth of your mother on the night I died. I was angry and bitter towards her but didn't quite empathize why she did what she did. Now I know. I don't forgive her but I have my closure."_

Harry shut his eyes, exhaling deeply.

He wasn't sure where his words came from or when he figured that out.

He guessed this and it made perfect sense and he hoped that Louis understood the indirect answer Harry had given him through his explanation.

Harry didn't want to say the words...

He didn't want to go against their promise, never mind announce that he will.

"You still didn't answer my question..." Louis sternly said though he was shaking.

It couldn't be, Louis thought frantically.

This couldn't be happening. 

_"I'm trying to say that...that I can leave the world for good now that I know. And I think I have to."_

Harry's voice was barely audible when he finished speaking.

Thoughts of the afterlife penetrated through his despair.

What was that like?

During his time on Earth (as a ghost), he didn't really think about the other side as they would say.

What was on the other side anyway, and why didn't Harry go through?

How did getting there even work?

Did a bright beam of light swallow him just like in those sci-fi films?

Thinking about crossing the veil from life and death pained and made Harry waver.

He didn't want to leave without Louis beside him.

Louis made a choking sound and  _BAM_ , the tears finally dropped.

He was making it so much harder.

"No. No, Haz! Please stay!" pleaded Louis.

He now tightly wrapped his arms around Harry as if it would prevent him from leaving.

Harry wished it could.

He softly patted Louis on his back and pulled him away from his shoulder.

Gently, just gently Harry whispered, _"I can't."_

Louis quickly wiped at his eyes.

"Y-Yes you can. Fight it! I can help s-so please..."

Harry kept his mouth shut and touched Louis' face while scanning him.

He was memorizing Louis' features one last time before he wasn't able to anymore.

"I know this is selfish of me to say but I need you. I need you with me. At least I need to know that you'll be beside me all the time like before? Forever and always, you'd say."

Louis was trying to grasp onto anything that'll help change Harry's mind though he knew how hopeless it was.

He knew that this was the way to go but he didn't want that.

Not if it meant not seeing Harry... forever.

"Forever and always. Forever and always! Promise me again."

Louis was breaking at the seams, much too quickly at that.

"Haz?" called Louis, going pale.

Harry didn't answer back with the usual 'yes, Lou'.

Louis covered Harry's hand on his cheeks, telling him to look.

"Harry?"

Louis' voice cracked, leaving him in a sobbing mess.

His hand slipped away from Harry and his face fell to the concrete sidewalk.

 _"We have to go our own way. I don't belong here anymore,"_  reasoned Harry as gently as he could, but Louis wasn't having any of it.

He wasn't even listening.

Harry placed a hesitant hand on Louis, scared that at the touch he'll shatter.

He shook lightly,  _"Lou?"_

Harry expected more resistance and disbelief from the boy but nothing happened.

Louis' eyes were blank but still focused.

_"Are - are you alright?"_

Louis' movements were robotic.

Stiff and unnatural.

Louis sniffed and blew out a shaky breath.

"I-I'm going to miss you so much. Harry, do we really?..."

Harry nodded, _"yes."_

His throat was tight and he turned away from the shriveling figure.

From a distance he heard faint voices talking of goodbyes and how late the night was.

It was almost midnight.

Their last moments together is limited.

Once again, Harry has to leave but this time he might not come back.

He'll never see Louis again...

"Haz? Haz! No, no no..." cried Louis, swallowing Harry in a tight hug.

Harry let his poise go and shut his eyes, only letting himself feel Louis against him.

"Its too soon! I-I can't do this without you ever! So please..."

Every scream and sob that poured out of Louis pierced Harry straight to his soul.

It felt like lava swirling inside him, melting him with a cruel slow pace.

This was it.

The final end to Harry's being on this Earth.

_The end of Harry Styles._

But it wasn't so bad now that Harry thought about it.

The truth was out, Louis loves him, he's with Louis right now as his departure came near.

The best way to enter the other side, Harry's sure of it.

 _"I love you I love you I love you..."_  Harry whispered into Louis' ears as he felt himself vanish.

Harry could barely feel Louis now.

Only a faint warmth wrapped around his torso.

As Harry locked gazes with Louis, he saw the desperate terror in his eyes.

Harry was fading away.

Midnight was less than a minute away.

Heaven or Hell was less than a minute away.

"I love you, Haz. Forever I will." 

Louis trailed off and lifted himself higher with his toes.

His heart swelled as his lips met with Harry's half-transparent ones.

Panic flooded through him.

His lips were slipping through Harry.

How much time was left?

Louis opened his eyes, hoping that Harry didn't fully disappear.

The relief that came from seeing Harry went away as soon as it arrived for Harry was fading drastically.

"No! Harry! Harr - love, please!"

Louis screamed, clawing his hands to feel Harry, to grab him.

His hands only went through and the cold, foggy feeling wasn't there. 

If Harry was talking or anything, Louis couldn't see it.

All he could see by this point was the outline and dim shine of eyes.

_See you next time, Lou..._

Harry's voice spoke in his mind, sad and strong.

Louis choked, looking around for his lover.

This couldn't be real.

"Haz! Haz - Harry - where are you? I can't see you anymore! I want to see you." begged Louis.

_I love you..._

Harry's voice was so faint and distant.

Louis spun around to the spot where Harry last stood.

"You're my ghost remember? You'll always stay beside me? Always? Can you hear me, Haz? Haz! Haz, I love you and I'll see you soon."

Louis' head buzzed with energy.

He couldn't see or think straight except hear one thought in his head.

"I'll see you very soon," Louis' panted. 

He stared through the shadowy spot in front of him.

The place where those green eyes were.

"I promise you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, THE END.
> 
> YES IT IS A TRIPPY, CONFUSING, AND UNCLEAR ENDING BECAUSE ITS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT. YOU CHOOSE HOW IT ENDS: LOUIS KILLS HIMSELF AS SACRIFICE TO BE HIS MOTHER'S PRICE OR HE BIDES HIS TIME AS HARRY WISHES. ITS REALLY UP TO YOU OF HOW YOU VIEW THE ENDING.
> 
> EPILOGUE NEXT...


	20. EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL PART [SAD FACE].

The light was brighter than before, Louis noticed.

Little by little it intensified.

Soon he couldn't see his surroundings anymore but only the light.

This light had shone even brighter than possible.

It hurt to look directly into it but Louis was too weak to look away.

And he was curious as well.

He wondered what would happen next.

What was there to see.

Then a misty voice cooed; it was the light.

The great big light was speaking and louis wasn't sure if it was all in his head or not.

He couldn't think anymore.

His thoughts fuzzed over and faint beeps began. 

 _"Lou."_  said the voice.

It was so familiar and like a fresh breath of air surged into him, Louis smiled.

At last...

_"Louis."_

The voice was louder and clearer.

This was it.

_"Oh, Louis..."_

Louis was out of breath, his eyes heavy.

"I missed us." said Louis, collecting himself together to speak.

The light shone through his eyelids.

The redness of the glare shining through his eyelids were fading quickly.

He couldn't see color as vibrantly.

_"I missed us too."_

Something touched his face.

Hands.

The wispy, cloudy feeling washed over his skin.

Louis laughed out hoarsely.

He was squinting now; he wanted to see the person holding him.

He wanted to make sure it was the same person he'd hoped for.

Louis breathed out, "now we can be together forever."

The voice laughed along.

They both couldn't believe it.

The hands on Louis' face began to loose it's mystical touch and became more...distinct.

There was no warmth to it though.

It felt like air.

Louis felt out of place as if he wasn't settled into his body.

He felt disconnected.

He began to fidget, scared of this unnatural feeling taking over him. 

_"No, Lou, let go. It'll be okay. I'm here remember?"_

The voice reassured and Louis calmed down, believing it.

He had nothing else but to believe.

Louis shut his eyes and felt lightweight.

The feeling was overwhelmingly good.

It was like floating.

"Is it? Is it as great as it's told down here?" asked Louis.

_"No, it's better. It's all peaceful and positive. You'll love it here, Louis."_

A chuckle escaped.

Now Louis felt himself disconnect but he wasn't scared.

The hands on him affectionately rubbed him from the terror.

Soon, Louis felt friction.

He was nearly there.

"I can't feel myself but I sort of can?"

Even saying that sounded crazy but the voice seemed to understand.

Of course it did since it's been through this before.

_"That's fine. You're almost here, baby. Just a little longer."_

"Okay." 

Louis' body stopped moving and he felt the air leave him.

It stung for awhile but then at once it stopped.

But Louis was still awake.

"Open your eyes." said the voice after what seemed like years.

A moment of silence took over and Louis opened his eyes.

Standing over him was the boy he'd cherished and loved with everything he had.

The same face but with a different glow.

The boy held a hand out and Louis took it.

He could feel him.

Those great green eyes smiled upon him.

"I always keep my promises."

Louis nodded, his lips curving.

"I always believe in them." said Louis.

They didn't need to speak the three worded promises out loud.

It laid in their hearts beside each other.

Everything was final and completed.

They were together for forever and always **.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...AND BAM IT'S FINISHED. THE STORY IS OFFICIALLY FINISHED.
> 
> THE EPILOGUE STILL IS MYSTERIOUS AS THE ENDING. I DIDN'T ADD ANY EXTRA DETAILS OF WHY OR FOR WHAT REASON LOUIS WAS DYING BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, HOW THIS STORY ENDS IS UP TO YOU ALTHOUGH I PUT SOME BIG HINTS OUT THERE IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS OF MY VIEW IN THE ENDING...
> 
> ANYWAY, GOODBYE GHOSTHAZ & GHOSTLOU (IF YOU HAVENT CAUGHT ON: THIS PART IS ABOUT LOUIS DYING AND REUNITING WITH HIS HARRY SO YEAH).
> 
> \- MITCHIE XX.


End file.
